called his phone and a girl answered...

on May 08, 2009 @ 06:21 pm

was away and my cell phone died so I decided to call my boyfriend from my best friends home phone. when I called a girl picked up i was in so much shock that i didnt say anything i knew i had the right number the girl called me a bitch and i just hung up. again i was in so much shock i waited until the next day to ask my boyfriend what the hell was up? he said it was his best friend sarina which i knew they did hang out so i believed him. but i couldnt get the thought of what had happened the night before the girl answered i called him and his phone was off for a few hours he eventually called me and said he was with his guy friend and his phone died. the next day we hung out we had fallen asleep watching a movie. i woke up and saw his phone on the floor. i never snoop but this time i needed some reasurrace or a reason to leave. the night he said he was with is best friend he sent a text to a friend of ours saying no man i just got back from hanging with mona. that text was sent about an hour after the girl answered his phone. i'm not asking what i should do here. its obvious he was lying and doing something he shouldnt have done. i left him. ofcourse he continues to lie and wont admit anything which makes me even more angry because i read it all in his phone. i changed my number but i cant stop the urge to wanty to call him and curse him out and make him feel the way he made me feel. im filled with so much anger and him being so nonchalant about it enrages me. i want to verbally emasculate him but i havent. i want to yell and scream and call the girl he was with a whore but i havent. how do i get over this and move on? how do i get rid of the anger and the hurt? how do i ever feel like im beautiful again after someone makes you feel like scum this way?

8 Replies

:( on May 08, 2009 @ 10:30 pm

Anon, that sucks. There's nothing I can say to make you feel better, and I've been blessed never to have to go through something like this.

Bravo to you for confronting him about it! You may feel unloved and unlovely, but the fact that you told him you won't stand for this bullcrap means you still have your self esteem and that is so important, I can't stress it enough.

It's such a cliche, but the only thing that is going to make you feel better is time. Telling them both off will give you a short term shot in the arm, but ultimately you'll just have to ride this storm out.

You loved him; don't beat yourself up for wanting to call and cuss him out. He betrayed you and clearly his friend(s) didn't care enough to tell him to man up. A real man would have ended things with you before starting something new. A real man doesn't need multiple women to make him happy. A real man respects his lady, even when things turn sour between you. Your bf is a sick, weak, slimy SOB and he'll get his in the end.

You are beautiful because he doesn't define you. You were beautiful when he met you and your looks and sex appeal haven't changed, just his screwy appreciation of them. You are beautiful because you are strong and loving yourself is the first step to confidence - which is one of the definers of beauty. I have heard again and again from men that they find an average woman with confidence much more alluring than a beauty queen with low self esteem.

Find something/s in your life that will boost your feelings of self worth. Spend time with quality friends who would never betray you. Get deep with your sister, mother or favorite cousin because blood is thicker than water. Treat yourself to a last minute vacation or a day at the spa. Try a new hobby (maybe kickboxing against his picture?) or get out of your everyday routine - anything to define the start of your new life without Scumbag McSleazy.

Just trust that it will get better. Allow yourself to grieve (even messily and loudly if needed) and when you're feeling better, congratulate yourself for having the guts to kick his ass to the curb.


:( thank you mamaluv on May 08, 2009 @ 11:58 pm

thank you so much for cheering me up. im still so angry but i'm gonna try to do things to get out of this zombie like state. all i wanna do is eat chocolate and sleep lol its true, but i know in time things will be better and i will laugh at that loser scumbag.

Ali de Bold
You already won on May 11, 2009 @ 09:53 am

I agree with what Mamaluv said. But the fact that you called him on it, ended the relationship and didn't buy any b.s means you already have a reason to hold your head high.

When someone treats you that way it isn't about you, it is about them. He is the one with the problem.

You are already the winner. Wash your hands of him and don't let your self esteem be affected one bit by what happened here.

be strong on May 22, 2009 @ 08:06 pm

All i can say is "wow ". good for you !! you checked that phone because your gut told you he was a lying, idiot - boy that did not know a good thing when he had it. You stay strong {and good thinking to change your number .}

he's a loser on May 23, 2009 @ 09:24 am

He will always be a loser,keep telling yourself that.The best revenge is for him to see you being well and having fun.You will get over him eventually.Just keep your head high and try to go out with your girlfriends and things will fall into place,you'll see.

Listen to Mamaluv on May 23, 2009 @ 09:15 pm

Is she not the best advice giver, ever!? Mama....I need you too! LOL

He sounds lame! Definitely a loser!

natural retard. on May 26, 2009 @ 01:25 pm

You should be proud of yourself~ You did the smartest thing anyone could possibly do! Walked away from another natural retard! what makes it so great is that your strong enough to walk away and smart enough to know he's just another "bad day". forget about yelling at him. people like that are just naturally retarded. No matter what you say it goes in and out through the other ear. Consider it a blessing for you to completely drop him like he's hot! You go on girl!


time on May 27, 2009 @ 09:35 pm

Time is the only thing that will make you feel better.

Now is also the time to shift your focus onto yourself. As all the
others have noted, you ROCK!! How you handled the situation in and of
itself should make you feel lovely. You have self-respect many women
would die for. To further enrich your loveliness, surround yourself w/
loving friends and family. You'll be back up on your feet, loving
yourself, in no time!!

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