Feel like Dirt For What He Did To Me.. Am I Overreacting?

Anonymous

Just recently my boyfriend and I decided to spend some time apart to ''grow up". We were arguing alot and we just needed a little break. We were still dating, but decided we would take some time apart to just breathe. I found out today he just added his ex to his myspace profile. It made me so mad I was shaking. I texted him about it and he told me she called him crying about her grandma dying and he had to comfort her. He also has another friend that he knows makes me uncomfortable because they always come to him for comfort and I feel that when you are in a relationship you need to give some things up. I gave up being so close to my guy friends for him. Anyways we were apart two days and I find out he has his ex on his profile. First of all what is he doing to make her feel so comfortable to contact him like this? he had the nerve to call me controlling today. He said we were on a break i didnt think it would be a big deal. I said do you know how big of a slap in the face this was to find out? I got so angry I changed my number and I blocked him from emailing me. What do you guys think is going on here? Did I do the right thing? Did I overreact? Please be brutally honest with me.
Oct 31, 2008 @ 10:35 pm

17 Replies

Steve

Hmm.....

The simple fact that he said "we were on a break I didn't think it would be a big deal" indicates he feels like he was caught doing something. Hence the word IT. "It" can be anything, we really have no idea, so let's not speculate because nothing good can possibly come from that. The "what do you guys think is going on here" part? I think you're entitled to be angry at him. The overreacting part? I dunno. It seems sort of extreme but if you don't want to be in contact you're at least taking care of that angle pretty well Are you hoping for a reconciliation? What's your goal with this?
Oct 31, 2008 @ 11:00 pm
justfriendsx3

Yes, I think so.

I think you are overreacting.
If you're guy friend asked you to comfort you, wouldn't you?!
and you ARE taking a break..and maybe his feelings have changed for you?
You can't blame him for that.
Oct 31, 2008 @ 11:01 pm
TigerLilly

Overreacting

I think you're taking things way too personal and need to gain some self confidence.

1) You're on a break so you shouldn't be as concerned with him.

2) Exes can be friends, I don't see a problem with that. Plus her grandmother died! Seriously, have a heart here. Maybe she had no one else to turn to.

3) Not really related but it sounds wrong to me that you guys are "sacrificing" friends to be with one another. I personally believe it's not cool to purposefully distance your friends of the opposite sex for your significant other - this goes to both of you. You're friends with your guy friends and nothing more and he should understand that. He's friends with his female friends and nothing more and you should understand that. One of my pet peeves is when people do that when they get in a relationship. It just seems like your disrespecting your friends. Friends aren't back-ups for when you're not in a relationship.

4) Uhh. . . it's just a Myspace page. People add lots of friends they don't even talk to or know.

Brutally honest? You sound paranoid and controlling. You're on a break so really this shouldn't concern you and even if you weren't on a break, trust your b/f. If you can't trust him and start going crazy over little things it probably isn't a healthy relationship.
Oct 31, 2008 @ 11:30 pm
Ali de Bold

The real issue

I don't think adding someone to your myspace is that big of a deal (break or not). What he does with that is another thing.

I would take this time apart to spend some time thinking. What is the real issue? Why are the two of you having problems? Is this relationship working for you? Do you both still want to be together? Don't focus so much energy on him and what he is doing. If he uses this "break" to start other relationships or rekindle old flames then I would suspect he does not intend to get back together.

He might be thinking this break is permanent. Did he suggest it? Sometimes people say they want to go on a break as a softer way of saying they don't want to be in a relationship with you any more.

Nov 01, 2008 @ 02:14 pm
reeshie19

my opinion

im a sensitive person so this would affect me too.how long were you dating?i personally think cutting ties from exes isnt a major thing,but if it is affecting your relationship then its a different story..did she ever interfere?because like tigerlilly said..her grandmother died and maybe she sees him as a really close friend to her now...note: "friend".i think blocking emails and changing numbers was a result from an instant reaction,i hope you realise it is a bit childish.why do all that when you could sit him and down and talk?
Nov 01, 2008 @ 06:18 pm
Anonymous

he knew..

he knew it bothered me. he knew talking to her was wrong in my eyes. it was two damn days and i find out he had been talking to her and now has her on his myspace?? i cant help but feel betrayed by him. i feel in my heart that he was doing something to make her feel comfortable to contact him and was keeping it from me. i guess im just venting because i know its really over and i cant believe he disregarded my feeling this way.
Nov 01, 2008 @ 10:49 pm
reeshie19

that said...

the fact that you say "he knew talking to her was wrong in my eyes",clears things up more.but are you maybe assuming that he knew or did he always know you were against it?if he always knew,then we could see this in a different light
Nov 02, 2008 @ 06:43 am
Chick85

he's hedging his bets

I hate to say this - but "on a break" is usually code for "we are almost over" (in my opinion and in my experience). I think he is starting to hedge his bets - lining up some "interesting" prospects and setting up some action for the near future.

Sorry, I hate to say this so brutally - but if the guy is the right one for you - you won't have to "take a break". Also, guys are more pragmatic about this stuff!

I think you did the right thing - block him and move on.
Nov 02, 2008 @ 10:36 am
Steve

yeah

cosign with everything nitestar said
Nov 02, 2008 @ 03:48 pm
Anonymous

again he knew..

yes he knew. she had texted him once before and we had an argument about it. so he knew.
Nov 02, 2008 @ 07:06 pm

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