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Harrassment over Abortion


This is a personal story, and due to it's controversy I am posting as anonymous.

When I was seventeen, and on the one-year anniversary with my abusive ex-boyfriend, I found out that I was pregnant. I was filled with guilt, shame, indecision, fear, and sadness. Instantly, I knew that this was not the way that pregnancy should feel. We discussed it, a lot. Back then, he wasn't so abusive... it was mostly emotional, psychological, and rarely physical. Somehow, the pregnancy brought us together. We strongly considered keeping our child. After the first ultrasound to confirm how far along I was, we truly thought we might keep the baby. Eventually, I realized that it was a horrible choice - and I had become so sick from the pregnancy, and withdrawal from alcohol that I was too unhealthy to carry this child. I dropped to about 99lbs from 140lbs in three weeks, and was suffering migraines constantly. I scheduled the abortion, his parents took us to the clinic hours away, and paid for a hotel.

I tested positive for pregnancy on December 10th, 2011. I terminated the pregnancy on January 11th, 2012. I finally left him in the Summer of 2014.

Only certain people know about this: my ex-boyfriend, my two best friends, my current boyfriend, a couple I lived with at the time, my ex-boyfriend's best friend, his parents, and a later-roommate who had also had an abortion.

I am now receiving letters. It started with an e-mail. Now it's physical letters to my address. Basically, harassing and insulting me for my choice - now four years ago. I have a feeling it's my ex-boyfriend... he's e-mailed me a few times, and the last words from him were "Oh yeah, the kid probably wasn't even mine. Last thing I want to say to your useless ass." two months or so ago via e-mail.

What do I do?
Mar 24, 2016 @ 01:30 pm

28 Replies



if you feel threatened make a police report, you can probably get a restraining order.
Mar 24, 2016 @ 01:41 pm

I wish it were so easy :-(

There's no way to know who is sending these... and I can't file for a restraining order again, I have twice and been denied because of "mutual contact" ebtween my ex and I despite abuse for four years and his threats.
Mar 24, 2016 @ 01:55 pm


Report it.
Mar 24, 2016 @ 01:55 pm


Definitely report it to the police and say you don't know who is sending them to you but it's harassment. Also, if you haven't already stop answering you ex in any form!
Mar 24, 2016 @ 02:05 pm


definetely report it
Mar 24, 2016 @ 02:09 pm


Also, don't make these letters make you feel bad. You made the best decision for yourself at the time and thankfully don't have a child with this abusive ex. Never let anyone make you question YOUR decision. You are a strong woman!!!
Mar 24, 2016 @ 02:13 pm


Definitely Report it , no one has the right to judge you ,stay strong
Mar 24, 2016 @ 02:20 pm


Sorry you are going through this. You made the best decision and I am sure it was a really hard choice to make. Don't let this person bring you down.
Mar 24, 2016 @ 02:39 pm

Report it

Report it every day if you have to to get somewhere. Tell them you feel frightened, threatened, unsafe. They have enough technology to figure out an IP address. Don't let it slide and don't let it bring you down, you don't need to defend your decisions. You did what was best and healthiest for you. Having a child with someone abusive would be very hard and your decision is your own. Good luck and stay safe.
Mar 24, 2016 @ 02:52 pm

Stay safe!

Always keep yourself safe, that is the most important thing - do you!
Report it in NY opinion.
Mar 24, 2016 @ 06:01 pm

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