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Have you ever felt like a black sheep?

Anonymous

I'm in a relationship with an awesome guy since 5 years now. We had our routine every night, eating together, listening some show or music or  gaming...Now our life has changed.

He wants to return to school and the DEP that he is subscribe only starts in November. He's job transfered him in the evening shift ( 4h pm until midnight) and I'm workin 8 to 5. We only see each other on the weekend and we se each other sleeps morning and night.

We had our issues on the begining of our relationship (some mistakes were made when we were only a young couple like sexting another girl). He didn't do it after that. We were more close and united as a couple than many couple that I know after 5 years. When he sexted that girl before, we had a fight and we did not live together as we are now. He was lost, and he made some incredible effort to show me it was really a mistake and he wasn't an asshole over the years we have been together. He could just have go f*** another girl while I was mourning my dad but he didn't. He stayed with me the whole time, showing me love and support.

This week, he started the new shift. And I can't help myself but overthinking (what does he do when he's home alone? Why taking so long to respond to my sms when I know he's home? etc). I have this huge ball of emotions in my throat that won't go away. I miss him even though we live together and we sleep together at the end of the day. But I feel alone when I came back home after work. I know this is a trustful guy, but my mind is overthinking at it's worst.

I making myself unhappy with this situation and I don't know what to do. He recomfort me because he knows how I feel. But I need something to ease my mind before I go crazy and depressed.

Help.
Sep 07, 2017 @ 01:19 pm

7 Replies


laura2423

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I get that your lifestyle has changed and that happens in life but there really is no way of knowing what hes doing at every minute when your not around. All you can do is talk to him about your feelings and if you say he is trustworthy then trust him. Your probably driving yourself crazy for no reason, things are different but that doesn't mean hes not the same guy he was before the change in working hours. I hope everything works out for you!
Sep 07, 2017 @ 06:01 pm
Gizzygirl

Overthinking

Relationships are never easy especially adapting to change. I think everyone goes through what you are experiencing at onevtime or other, I know I have. You have to ask yourself Do YOU trust him? Trust and communication are key. Talk to him about how you are feeling. Make the most of the time you are together. Do overthink things! Good luck I hope it all works out.
Sep 07, 2017 @ 07:03 pm
Mariie87

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If everything has been fine for the past five years and that was a one rime thing at the beginning that he worked hard for forgiveness a d was truthful after, then i see no reason for this. I cant see these strong feelings coming in out of nowhere after soo long doing soo well. Maybe you should do some individual or couples counseling. If these feeling came out of no where after all the time you could talk through some possible self esteem issues..... If this has always been in your mind and now coming to the forefront more due to not seeing eachother, that ks somthing you need ro work through.
Sep 11, 2017 @ 07:07 pm
crystaljam

Hmmm...

Well perhaps he is busy when you are at work.


I know I am not attached to my phone 24 hours a day, and it frustrates some of my friends who need that instant text back gratification.


After 5 years....either there is trust or there is not. You can't live in constant fear.

Sep 26, 2017 @ 08:04 am
jujusamples

....

I totally agree with @Crystaljam, after 5 years, you either trust the person or you don't! I know that, I don't always answer texts right away and I would be so annoyed if my husband gives me a hard time over it. At the same time, he doesn't always answer me right away either. If you are bothered over a simple thing like texts and is still bothered by something that happened 5 years ago, and I mean this in the nicest way possible. You need need to either work on your trust issues or get some professional help with it. It seems like there is a co-dependency thing going on as well.

Also, if a loved one have passed away, it is expected to be there for your significant other! Instead your thoughts are "he could have screwed around with other woman, but he didn't". I'm a little confused about that justification. Is that what people do, while their SO is in mourning of a love one? Hmmmmmm... It's all in the trust and I truly hope you can work it out with your partner.
Oct 08, 2017 @ 01:11 am
mberlin1967

Black Sheep Empowerment

I came from a multi-parent situation, I have 3 older siblings by my father's first marriage, then just me (I was a mistake as my father met my mother in 67 and said he had a vasectomy, obviously it didn't work), then my mother remarried and had two younger siblings. I;m unique in every sense of the word, my mother refers to meas "Sis" because she still doesn't like admitting she has a child my age, I grew up in a pretty rough situation & left home at 18. Embrace your uniqueness, set boundaries with your family if you have to, I did, and call it a day..your life is yours to fulfill and not let someone else define your true happiness. ;) Blessings & Peace!
Oct 16, 2017 @ 08:16 am
maddynha

I Can Relate

First of all, I'm so sorry that you're feeling this way. I know how hard it can be. I was in a similar situation a while back and my advice would be to be completely honest and transparent. Trust is one of the most important things in a relationship and you both need to know how the other is feeling. Be honest about your concerns, without getting angry or accusatory. Just remember that he might not be doing anything wrong! To put your mind at ease, try intentionally setting aside time to spend together: plan date nights or make a meal together. It doesn't have to be complicated or expensive, but making time for each other can make a world of difference! Good luck!
Oct 19, 2017 @ 01:41 pm

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