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heartbroken beyond words. im devastated


I am so heartbroken. The man i loved for 2 years ended it and he seems completely fine. Emotionless. I am in so much pain. I feel like I am dying. How do I get over this?

Jun 29, 2011 @ 07:30 pm

39 Replies


I know this is going to sound very cliche...

I'm really sorry to hear that. 2 years is quite a long time so you must hurting really bad. I know this sounds cliche but it's true and that is only time heals. For now, just try to distract yourself by work, school, friends, family, etc, and soon you'll be able to enjoy other things in life and start to get over him little by little. I hope that you'll feel better soon!
Jun 29, 2011 @ 09:41 pm

thank you

thank you. i hope so too. it ended with him being very cruel and just wasnt something i deserved. im having a hard time doing anything but crying and the pain is so deep and unreal. he seems over it and to be moving on. i just wish the pain would stop..if even for a moment.
Jun 29, 2011 @ 10:42 pm
Ali de Bold

The pain will stop. Promise!

I know how hard this is when it first happens, but you will get past this and there will be a time when you can hear his name or think about him without feeling any pain.

The best thing you can do is work to move on from this. Do NOT call him, drive by his place or make any attempt to see him or find out what he's up to. It may seem innocent at the time but can only lead to humiliation and more pain.

Invest your energy doing things that make you feel better such as spending time with your friends and family, getting some exercise, taking care of yourself (facial, pedicure, lots of sleep... however you like to pamper yourself). Make sure to dress well and keep yourself groomed. It's a proven fact we feel better about ourselves when we look good. Don't resort to the sweatpants routine for too long.

Big hugs - we've all been there! XOXO
Jun 30, 2011 @ 07:57 am

its never hurt this way

i've been heartbroken before it just has never hurt like this. he was one person last week and this week he is someone else. 2 years i wasted. the thought of him with someone else kills me. he blames the breakup on my jealousy..yet i caught him in lies countless times. it just hurts beyond words..there is no word for this pain. i love him and im shattered..he is just acting like a happy playboy that already forgot i exist.
Jun 30, 2011 @ 05:07 pm

Make it all about YOU!

I think it is best to get back to yourself and concentrate on you!!! I always find after a break up that there are things that I haven't done in like months that I used to love- like spending an afternoon alone shopping and drinking an italian soda (my favourite pasttime!) so do things that you love- whatever they are and keep yourself busy.

And don't think of it as two years wasted, you always learn from the people who come into your life. I really believe that people come in and out of your life for reason, just trust that it will get better!
Jun 30, 2011 @ 05:21 pm

it hurts to breathe

i cant even sleep. i cant get how cold his words were out of my head. how last week we were us and how this week he is fine without me. i cant get the image of another girl replacing me out of my head..laying in the bed we used to hold each other in..replacing my toothbrush..putting her arms around the man i love. it kills me. i just want to wake up and him be there. his sleepy face that i snuggled up to. i know i sound pathetic. but my heart is gone.
Jul 02, 2011 @ 02:29 am


You don't sound pathetic at all!! You simply sound like a girl who trusted the wrong guy and had her heart broken. As Ali said, we've all been there, and I know that doesn't help you right now, but just out of our experience, for me my experience, I can guarantee that you will get out of this pain.

You've romanticized your actual relationship into something that wasn't there. Sit with a friend (or you can write to us here) and really analyze the relationship. Try to understand what the relationship really was, and realize what you miss now that he's gone. You don't really miss the relationship, you miss what you hoped the relationship would be. You don't miss the guy, you miss the man you hoped he could be. He moved onto another girl? Sure he did. Probably one that isn't smart enough to catch him and hold him accountable to his lies. Some poor child who doesn't know what she's getting herself into. Forget about snuggling up to his sleepy face, that's romantic talk. What about when you looked at his face and thought 'what lies are you hiding behind this time?' What about his face contorted in anger as he defended his lies?

Check out this song and really listen to the lyrics.
Shut up and Drive

Not only has tons of girls walked in your shoes, some have written songs
about it too! You will get through this. You're stronger than you
give yourself credit for. Your heart is not gone, it's just a bit
disillusioned. Once you get over this hurt phase and go into the angry
phase, you'll stop thinking about replaced toothbrushes and start to
think about how he lied to you, used your emotions, played with you and
wasted 2 years of your life. I read this somewhere and it really stuck, "usually when people are sad they don't do anything. They just cry over their condition. But when they get angry, they bring about a change".

Get angry girlfriend!

*big hugs*
Jul 04, 2011 @ 11:54 am

im so pathetic

i cant get over this. im so inlove with him and shattered. his birthday is coming up and two trips he and i planned. now he is going to take someone else on them? i just can't handle this. it hurts so much i cant even cry. the love of my life is gone and clearly fine without me. how could he do all of this to me...he f*cked me over beyond words and left me for dead. i know this sounds dramatic but im at the end of my rope. im so miserable and broken. i miss his arms..God id give anything to have our life back. i just want the pain to stop. i need it to.
Jul 17, 2011 @ 12:55 pm
Ali de Bold

You need to do something for yourself pronto

It makes perfect sense for you to feel devastated and I think it's terrible he has moved on so quickly. Obviously he wasn't the man you thought he was if he is already serious enough with someone else to take her on a trip. Most likely it is a rebound relationship that may be short lived, but you can't concern yourself with what they are doing because the most important thing is for you to heal and be able to move on. Don't torture yourself by keeping tabs on their activities. Instead, you need to make a plan for yourself. Here's 5 things I suggest you do today:

1. Book your favourite spa treatment. Splurge a little. Invite a girlfriend to go with you. Do that first.

2. Write down an honest list about the qualities are you looking for in a man. Don't make it about him at all. Don't compare your list to him. Pretend he doesn't exist. Just think about the sort of person you would want to spend your life with. The purpose of this is exercise is to reset the bar.

3. Get the book Why Men Love Bitches. I'm not joking. I recommend this book to everyone. It's extremely funny and insightful.

4. Buy a new lipstick. This may seem like silly advice, but it's a nice pick me up and if you feel well put together, it's harder to mope.

5. Spend time in public. You are probably tempted to stay at home in sweatpants in the fetal position. This solves nothing. Go to your favourite cafe and bring the Bitch book (hide the cover of course).

One other thing: If you have faith, pray. That always helps even when you don't feel you are getting any answers. The answers will come.

I know it seems impossible that you will ever get over this but you will. Don't let your mind romanticize him or the relationship and make it as though it was perfect. Big hugs!
Jul 18, 2011 @ 12:21 pm


I agree with Ali. I loved that book.

I can imagine what you are going through and honestly I have no advice to give you. Cry, drink, and set small goals. Focus on yourself.

From my personal experience it motivated me and kept me busy to set goals on improving myself, just to defy him. Looking better, changing hairstyle, deciding to get rid of cellulite, start a new workout regimen or trying out clothes I would have never worn before... I just pretend its a competition, even if I am the only participant... it motivated me and helped me get over the first bump.

Jul 18, 2011 @ 12:30 pm

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