How many dates before you shag?

Ali de Bold

How many dates will you wait before you take your relationship to the next level. Do you prefer to wait for marriage, do you swear by the 3 date rule, wait at least a month or get busy on the first date?
Apr 25, 2007 @ 07:37 pm

14 Replies

apothenaJen

When it feels right..

a la Cher from the movie Clueless, I wouldn't do it with someone I had "lukewarm" feelings for and I don't think I would know my real feelings in just 3 dates. That doesn't seem like enough time to figure out whether a guy is psycho or anything. I can't really talk from personal experience since Denis was my first real boyfriend and we had a long distance relationship from the start. So our timeline was skewed.

To me a relationship is for more than just fun, so shagging right away would totally ruin any progression if you're looking for something serious. I would think a few months at least.

This has to do with modesty, too. I'm not about to get nekkid in front of someone I barely know. And I definitely don't need to see some almost-stranger's dingaling either. Eeew.
Apr 26, 2007 @ 11:32 am
Anonymous

Wait for the wedding ring

I think it's better to wait. Too many stds and broken hearts out there. Plus I think sex complicates things.
Apr 26, 2007 @ 08:15 pm
spotty

Hmmmm

Like ApothenaJen, my timeline is a bit skewed b/c a lot of my relationships had, at some point, a long-distance element. I can think back to a relationship that was "local" and I think we got as far as 2-3 weeks in before the official hook-up. We're not together anymore, but would never claim that our decision for when to have sex is what caused the 2yr romance to end. I would say the timing of the first shag, in the long run, will have no effect on a long-term relationship. But that's just me -- I'm sure others disagree. ;-)
May 08, 2007 @ 11:30 am
Anonymous

Shagging

I guess I am kind of traditional too about this topic. I don't agree with hitting the sheets together when you don't know someone very well.

However, I know plenty of women who love the thrill of shagging on a first date or a one night stand. I don' t know if it is under the influence of alcohol or just wanting the "thrill" of casual sex. I don't understand what is so great about it, you barely know the person! Some people truly believe in sex without love because there is no commitment or strings attached. I find that that is a difficult notion to understand.

May 09, 2007 @ 11:01 am
mamaluv

What is sex, anyway?

I agree with anonymous. I see sex as a deep communication between two people and should be considered a special thing you don't share with just anyone. I think it's only a thrill because deep down your soul knows that it's wrong to give this gift away as if it's a package of Girl Scout cookies - more expensive than Oreos, but not much there.

I would NEVER sleep with someone I wasn't emotionally invested in. I am married now anyway, but I think if I were single I would wait 'til it's a sure thing.
May 10, 2007 @ 10:00 am
Anonymous

I agree

My hubby and I waited until engaged. Sure, engagements can always be broken but for both of us it was important to be committed officially before we shared something so intimate.
May 10, 2007 @ 10:01 am
artist

Girl Scout Cookies!

Hahah!! Mamaluv, I love that ... "a package of Girl Scout cookies - more expensive than Oreos, but not much there." SO true!
May 10, 2007 @ 12:40 pm
MizzRobin

I agree...

I love the comment Mamaluv made about about Girl Scout cookies...FUNNY! I am at a stage in my life where I would not sleep with someone unless I was heavily emotionally invested in that person. I know the meaning of sex differs from one person to the next but, to me it is like Mamaluv says " a deep communication between two people and should be considered a special thing you don't share with just anyone".
May 12, 2007 @ 03:06 pm
Anonymous

first date

shagging on the first date is always a bad idea - regardless of the chemistry you have with that person for at least one good reason: STDs are not 100% preventable.
May 14, 2007 @ 03:03 pm
MulhallLover

Shagging

I would always shag with anyone.Do you mean dancing or sex??
May 26, 2007 @ 08:22 pm

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