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How to let go of a guy you been with for years

Anonymous

I've been happy with my man but he is very manipulative when we do fight and is bad for lying and keeping things from me but I am so attached to him and don't know how to make it change. It's been years I also don't cope well when I do leave him due to not wanting to.  No rude comments please.
May 10, 2019 @ 12:19 pm

9 Replies


Anonymous

you need somebody new!

If I were you I would start looking for somebody new...…….. When you find a decent new man, you need to let him down easy stating that you are no longer happy in your present relationship.

Life is too short to be unhappy and you deserve to be happy!!!!!!

GOOD LUCK!!
May 10, 2019 @ 11:32 pm
lamurap

How to let go of a guy that you have been with for years?

Two questions for you:

1. How long have you two been together?
2. Are you married to him?
May 10, 2019 @ 11:36 pm
Cristale Adams

Same Boat

Married and almost 10 years 2 young daughters
May 12, 2019 @ 10:59 pm
JESSICA BASTIEN

I did it and never looked back!

I was with an abuser for a few years. One day I decided I was worth more and so were my kids. I left with very little and had to start ALL over, but I am now stronger and happoer and I choose how I live my life. Its VERY scary, but there are SO many supports out there-even if you have 0 money. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF and KNOW YOUR WORTH! I really wish you the best. <3 Add me as friend if you like.
May 14, 2019 @ 10:25 am
KTaylorA

:-/

Have you tried talking to him about it? I think that if he truly cares about you and loves you he should be open to the conversation. I think that all relationships definitely require work but you are special and you do deserve to be treasured and not treated poorly, so if he is not open to talking about it and making a change, the best solution may be to leave him. Also, couples counseling (if he is open to it) can be very helpful because they can help you get to the root of a problem and learn how to communicate better. Good luck!
May 17, 2019 @ 12:31 pm
Anonymous

Hello

Responding to my post we been together for about 8 years.
May 17, 2019 @ 02:32 pm
Lindapeebles

Let him go!

Its always hard to let someone go in the moment, but it gets easier with time. If he doesn't respect you now, he never will. Alalow yourself to be free from lying and manipulating and find someone who treats you like the queen you are!
May 18, 2019 @ 12:02 am
QcMaggie

Step up - Be happy

I know the feeling, I was in a toxic manipulative relationship for about 5years, It is hard to let go and it is not simple when you're attached to the relationship, or rather the feeling of not being alone.

Heres what I got to say and this is NOT easy to do, it even took me so long to action on my own.
Surround yourself with good friends that will support you.
Remember that you have to make yourself feel happy and not be in a toxic relationship, think about yourself and the future.
break away from the relationship and make sure you're safe, you're better off alone than in bad company ! Either way you'll find another great person and you'll experience real love and happiness hopefully soon.

I broke it off with that guy and then was in a non-caring relationship, but at least it wasn't manipulative! I broke it off after 2 years and now im in a real happy relationship and ive NEVER been this happy with someone.

Relationships are all about learning and moving on if on long term it won't be good. Keep looking for that perfect or near perfect fit :)
May 23, 2019 @ 06:45 pm
BridgetJones

Do Some Reading On Narcissistic Personality Disorder

When we hear the word "narcissist", many people will assume the term is relative to self-absorption, attention seeking, selfie-loving types. Social media and the Internet have contributed to peoples' attention seeking: Instafame, photo filters, and portraying roles online which do not reflect their authentic realities.

About a year and a half ago, after a 4-month, unhealthy, stressful, embarrassing, unfulfilling, financially and emotionally draining "relationship", I learned what the DSM criteria for authentic Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I also learned how and why I, as an empath and codependent, easily fell prey to an alcoholic, covert narcissist.

Narcissists are very good at their game, adopting masks to mirror new sources of supply, and as soon as the lovebombing has led to successful capture/entrapment of a new source of narcissistic supply, they let the mask slide ... and the real person comes out.

The liar. The financial abuser. The storyteller. The embellisher. The addict. The abuser. The vile critic. The blame shifter. The cheater.

They have a repetitive pattern of behaviours, same format, and even utter the same stories and claims to new sources of supply, every time. But it's always the same outcome.

I'm not saying you're with a narcissist, but I suggest three things to you:

1. Research NPD , acknowledge patterns, and also realize how/why your past and characteristics might have led you to him.

2. Do not ignore your gut or red flags, accept excuses, or put yourself in a position where you can become more vulnerable (living together, financially dependent, married/pregnant). ALWAYS have a backup plan, and don't wait to leave. Also, DO NOT give them access to your private affairs, bank accounts, or reveal too much information about yourself to them. Don't believe the sob stories. Believe ACTIONS and BEHAVIOURS, not quick-fix remedies or empty words.

3. Seek out a counsellor/therapist to privately discuss YOURSELF and how your own issues/past may have led you to this person or staying with someone who's not got your best interests at heart. EVERYONE should have an objective professional to speak with; there are many ways to find support to grow as a person.
May 23, 2019 @ 09:17 pm

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