on Jan 05, 2011 @ 09:16 am|
ok, so my question is.. how do you make a guy come on to you? I need it to be more hot have a little spice mixed in with is. instead i get can we have sex? nope! ok, or do you want to have sex? maybe later! ok, or, grab my boob, im horny. lol.. I think its very commical but other then that it doesn't get me turned on. i've tried talking to him, giving him some ideas on what he can try to do, he says he will but never does. sometimes we will make out for a little while but, thats the extent of it. Normally, we have sex when i come on to him. Like the other night, i started playing with him and i knew he wanted to, but he didn't do a damn thing until i finally anitiated it more so he knew it was gunna happen.. I don't know.. i am at a loss here, its like he is scared of being turned down or something, or he truly doesn't know how. I don't know.. :(
any help would be greatly appriciated..
|men are from mars... on Jan 05, 2011 @ 01:04 pm|
Well, it's true that often those poor guys don't know what's going on in our heads. One time we'll want gentle, romantic loving, and other times we'll be in the mood for wild animal sex. I've been married for a while and we still occasionally have miscommunication in the bedroom that lead to arguments.
Remember that guys are hardwired for quick and easy solutions. They think logically, we think emotionally. In many cases, being the intuitive romantic type is what they do to try to please us, not because it comes naturally. Their thinking is "I'm horny, therefore must quickly git 'er done."
And since we use the female prerogative to change our minds about things ("no, don't be all lovey dovey! Take me like a rampaging pirate!"), it's no wonder the poor dudes have no clue where to begin.
However, it sounds like you've tried to explain this already. Did you use small, simple words? I'm not man-bashing, just getting back to the no-more-miscommunication theme. If you have, then you might need to be stubborn. Like, you won't come on to him unless he comes on to you first. If your sex drive is ensuring that regular nooky happens, then what is the incentive for him to do as you ask (other than just being thoughtful, but that's another topic)?
|my two cents.. on Jan 06, 2011 @ 03:56 pm|
Keeping in mind I'm fairly new at ...this stuff.. here's my two cents.
My husband and I always talk about s* what we want to do to e/other, fantasies, etc. We're spontaneous without trying to be, and he is very unembarrassed about s* and anything relating to that! Although I've been in one other relationship before him, he's the one that i gave my virginity to and really he's my first so.... real life and romance novels are a bit different! (starting with romance novels don't mention that losing your virginity hurts like a mo*fu* and it's not even lost in one shot! anyways I digress). Him being so unembarrassed about s* with me makes it easier for me to slowly become the same with him.
So with my very limited experience my suggestion to you would be: don't talk him into being s*xy, you seduce him yourself and bring spontaneity and fun back into your s* life and see if he follows your lead! Leave s*xy messages, send kinky texts, wear lingerie around the house, etc.
I am normally very against p*rn but ...maybe watch a soft p*rn together and show him (without being obvious about it) what you'd want done to you..?
Also, do other non s* related activities together that require a lot of togetherness. Go for a hike together, take dancing classes, just do something together that will involve you depending on the other and preferably lots of touching ;)
best of luck!!