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Inappropriate touching

Anonymous

Ladies, I have a situation I need some feedback on. 
My boyfriend is a very touchy person and has a habit of doing random vagina grabs. Not for any sexual reason, but just randomly, when were standing in a parking lot, driving in a car, having a conversation. He thinks its a way to playfully show affection. But for me, it doesn't feel that way. In fact while I do not mind other ways of touching to show affection (hugging, kissing, bum smacks as you walk by), that one really bothers me. I've tried to bring it up multiple times that I do not like to be touched that way for no reason, he stands firm that this is just another way to playfully show intimacy, and that he has never had such a complaint in the past from a girlfriend. 

I am not sure what to do about this situation, because I really don't like this particularly thing being done to me. But I'm also curious if other women find this acceptable? I've talked to my best friend about it and she agrees that she wouldn't like that being done to her, and has never had this experience herself in any of her relationships, just as I haven't. I just think some things should be off limits even with your partner. 

Do keep in mind that I am referring to vagina grabs in non sexual situations, and not when you are actually being intimate with each other. 
Aug 02, 2017 @ 06:00 pm

22 Replies

Mah_kal

hmm.

I agree with Pammywhammy845 -No one has the right to touch us there without our permission.
Aug 11, 2017 @ 01:46 pm
Yoanella

...

I think as someone said is more about consent. If you don't want him to do that, he should stop. My husband sometimes grab my butt or even my boobs in public and I don't mind but if you are not happy with this and you have told him, he should basically stop doing it
Aug 11, 2017 @ 08:27 pm
karma0317

.

Hey Anonymous

any updates? Has anything changed? Or do you feel the same way?
Aug 11, 2017 @ 08:40 pm
sharonisnewhere

Tell him to stop

Just tell him that you don't like being touched like that and that he needs to stop.
Aug 11, 2017 @ 08:56 pm
jujusamples

Boundaries

It all depends on what your boundaries are? Everyone is different, some people may like being grope in public and some people may hate it and find it disrespectful and impulsive!

That being said, it's all about respect. You don't like it and you have expressed that to your boyfriend. He didn't respect you. It's a "red flag"

Why should you give him any respect, when he doesn't respect you? If it was me, I would have walked away and never look back! I wouldn't even give him the chance to tell me "other girls he dated like it", that's manipulation! This person is bad news, I really hope you walk away and find someone better, whom will give you some respect!
Aug 12, 2017 @ 04:17 pm
stewartsmom

do not touch

I think that is very disrespectful and not at all loving
Aug 12, 2017 @ 06:25 pm
morencyc

.

This sounds like a total power play, and to add that "none of my other girlfriends found it inappropriate" is trying to make you feel like you're over reacting or that it's so out there to find something like that inappropriate. To me it sounds like a "me man, you woman, MY WOMAN" type showing of power.
I'm sure he's got other great qualities but this would be a deal breaker for me for sure.
Aug 12, 2017 @ 11:26 pm
Mariie87

.

The fact that you told him not to do something to you and he defended his actions and refused to stop is actually pretty disgusting. It shows that he doesn't respect you at all, or care about how you feel. If you allow him to get away with doing things to you that you do not like, it will only get worse. One of the fisrt things i taugh my children, and i believe it should be one of the first things that all people teach their children, is do not touch anyo e without permissio. And if someone asks you to stop something towards them you stop. Its also beyond ridiculous that he would use ex's never complaining as a way to twll you that you shouldn't. Come on.
Aug 16, 2017 @ 11:38 pm
Yaasgirl

Nope.

To me, I believe whether it's your arm, toe, vagina, any part of YOUR body and you say "No" or tell I'm to stop then 100% he needs to stop. I don't give af if his old girlfriends didn't mind or not, you mind so he needs to listen,
I kind of find it strange to jut randomly grab there ? And i'm into kinky stuff lol
Hugs to you
Aug 28, 2017 @ 10:26 pm
Cheryl

Grabbing

I can totally relate.

I just told my ex I felt uncomfortable and eventually it stopped just like the relationship


Aug 29, 2017 @ 01:01 pm

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