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Is it ever OK to lie about your appearance on a dating website?


I recently met up with a guy I'd been chatting to via an online dating website. We got on really well but the problem is he looked nothing like he did in his profile pictures. He had a great sense of humour though. I can could see us being good friends if nothing else but the fact he kind of lied about his looks is bugging me. Should we attempt a second date?
Jan 30, 2012 @ 11:37 pm

6 Replies



Well just think about this, if he lied about how he looks on a web site
where everyone can see him, what else is he willing to lying about. I've
never used a dating web site before, but I know I wouldn't be to happy
with the guy if he didn't look they way his pic looks. I'm sure if it
were the other way around he wouldn't be to happy with you either. All
these dating web site came along way after I was done with dating and to
tell you the truth they kind of scare me. You never know who this
person really is. Like you said he made out like he looked one way and
tuned out to look another. He could have told you he was a cop when he
was really a rapist looking for his next victim. That maybe pushing it
some, but you get where I'm going with this. I guess that could be said
about any where meet someone. If you do go out with him again just be
careful and if you have drinks with him, or anyone always watch your
drink. Never ever leave it out of your site and go somewhere during the
day where there's a lot of other people around until you really get to
know anyone. I hope this helped some, good luck.

Jan 31, 2012 @ 05:09 am

Lying about appearance...

First- how big of a lie was it? If this is the difference between 5'6'' and 5'8'' I say, yes, give them a break.

As a general rule, I don't think people should lie about their appearance but would you have met him if he didn't lie? Now that you have met him and kind of like him, I think maybe he deserves a break. Online dating is hard and trying to catch someone's attention is pretty difficult, I say everyone should get a second chance in this area.

If you think you like him, even as a friend, try a second date. If you aren't feeling the chemistry, then it's time to just be friends.

Good luck!

Jan 31, 2012 @ 05:14 am


If the fact that he lied is bothering you that much, then you'll probably always wonder if anything else he says is a lie. I would be wondering. It is a good point though, exactly how much about his looks was a lie? If you can overlook it, try again. However, and I may sound shallow, if you aren't attracted to him don't feel bad. I think physical attraction is very important in a relationship.
Jan 31, 2012 @ 06:39 am


If his profile pictures are completely different then what he looks like I would be wary. Online dating is tough but using pictures that are not of yourself is not okay. So if the pictures aren't even of himself I would stay away.

If they were pictures of himself but like 10 years ago it is off putting to show up on the date and find out they've gained a few pounds. It's not completely unreasonable for someone to want to put only the best picture/version of themselves especially when they are looking to date. It's not a great idea (for this reason exactly) but it's understandable.
If you liked his personality enough from the first date to overlook the fact that his profile pictures are when he was lighter or more fit then I would say try a 2nd date.

Jan 31, 2012 @ 06:45 am


Unless it's a minor thing like 2" height diff for example, I wouldn't overlook a lie. A lie is a lie is a lie. Relationships are HARD enough as it is, I wouldn't want doubts clouding my vision and niggling my conscience right from the beginning.
Jan 31, 2012 @ 12:26 pm

Do you lie

I suppose he lied as a means to an end, hoping if you saw the product you'd forget the advertising. It is a bad practice, and I won't condone it, but read on. The only statement ANYONE can ever hear and KNOW MUST BE TRUE is, "I don't always tell the truth" Think about it.

He is not thereby forgiven, but—do you wear make-up? Well, what are you "making up"? What NEEDS to be "made up"? And isn't that the very essence of lying? When a child "makes up" an excuse, he's likely not telling the truth. So you might want to go easy on the guy—maybe. Did you see the movie, The Best Marigold Hotel (2011)? If not, maybe you should. The scoundrel-ISH guy who lies about his age turns out to be a fairly super cool fellow.

On the same topic, I WOULD warn goregeous young girls not to over-advertise. Most guys are STUPID about clothing. If you wear a scandelously short microskirt and a guy meets you for the very first time when you are wearing that skirt, he will expect that is your "everyday attire" and your relationship may well be imperilled from that very first meeting. However, there are no RULES: I knew a man who met a fantastically beautiful lady. He thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world. He was astonished when she said "YES" when he proposed in a letter. They were married for 65 years. When he was in his 90s, and he told me this same story, there was no doubting in the whole wide world that he felt he was still with the most beautiful woman he had ever known. And he was right, you know. Mum's face was glowing when Dad told me this.
Mar 25, 2021 @ 05:58 pm

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