Mature minds only please


this may be disgusting to some..but anyways i have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and yes we've had sex but the other night we decided to try something new anal sex..he barely got the tip of his penis in when i had to stop him because it hurt so bad that it made me not really up for trying it again but if we would, would it still hurt that bad again or will it be easier this time??
Aug 03, 2009 @ 06:08 pm

15 Replies


oh dear...

This is a very private and sensitive topic for many. You are a brave one to open up this discussion. First of all , how long had you discussed this before you did it ? Did you research this at all ? Did you do it more for HIM than yourself ? It really can hurt if you are not well lubricated and he is not wearing a condom { wise choice } because you do not want to tear !!!
Aug 03, 2009 @ 09:18 pm


we havent talked much about it..but i did it more for him but a part of me wanted it too..
Aug 03, 2009 @ 09:59 pm

Hope this helps

You will need to be completely relaxed, otherwise your muscles will tense up and make it VERY uncomfortable. You may also want to use an enema to clean out the area prior to activity. A good lube is necessary and you and your boyfriend must communicate. He has no way of knowing what you are feeling unless you tell him. Lay down the ground rules ahead of time. You should control his speed and depth to make it most comfortable for you. They sell numbing agents (gel) that you can use to make anal sex more comfortable, although it will not stop tearing from occurring. You may wish to use an anal toy first to stretch the muscles. They have a narrow end and gradually increase in size. Without getting too graphic (just trying to help) I am unsure of what position you are trying. I would suggest that he sit at the edge of the bed and you can lower yourself onto his lap. This way, you are in control and it may make it easier for you. I found an article that I think you should read. It will only take you a few minutes, so please read it through. Here is the link:
I really hope this helps. I speak from experience. I personally enjoy anal sex, but I must admit it was a bit difficult the first couple of times.

Aug 04, 2009 @ 01:32 am

I'm not sure it's a good idea...

Personally, I'd say stick with the conventional way of things. You can spice things up without doing things that could cause you harm.

As the other girls said on here, you have to be well prepared before you even start or else it's going to be very painful.

My grandmother was an emergency nurse for 35 years and she said the amount of cases that came in with torn anal passages were astounding. Even people being careful still sometimes ended up with tears and infections.

My husband said that he had anal sex once and he really didn't find it all that exciting. He just wanted to try it out... I've never done it nor will I just because of the risk factors involved.

Aug 04, 2009 @ 03:03 pm

really need to work up to it

It is foolish to think your anus can accept a penis the same way a vagina can. Before you're ready for a penis you really really need to work the area. As one anonymous poster indicated you really need to be RELAXED. What has worked for us is for him to only finger the area achieving gradual penetration. As your anus relaxes it will sort of just grab your boyfriends finger and pull him in deeper. We have found the best way for me to relax is for him to be giving me oral sex while he fingers my anus. We've personally not worked beyond what I've described. If I ever decide to progress beyond his finger it certainly wouldn't be straight to penis, but rather multiple fingers or a plug/toy designed for anal penetration.

But as noted by others, if you decide to experiment w/ anal sex, don't do it just b/c he's curious. Make sure its a venture you're both interested in. For a long time my husband has been curious and I've always said no. Slowly but surely, at my pace, the boundaries are diminishing.
Aug 04, 2009 @ 08:46 pm


You anus was not made for that! The tissue in there is not the same as your vagina! In his book "Sheet Music" Dr Kevi Leman says that a vagina was custom made for intercourse, an anus was not. A woman's rectal area can tear easily, resulting in painful and embarrassing maladies.
Tearing anal tissue and infection doesn't sound kinky and fun to me!!
Aug 06, 2009 @ 11:41 am

use lubricant.

if you're gonna try that... use lube... and do it gently, and slowly. personally, i dont like it.. it ain't natural.

but, whatever floats your boats.
Aug 08, 2009 @ 10:28 am

interesting discussion...

There are some great points and advice here. I can't contribute, as I don't have much experience with the subject. However, I am surprised that no one has brought up the fact the homosexual men seem to have little or no issues with the practice. I'm not trying to start a sexual orientation debate or anything. I just thought the topic warranted having this pointed out.

Without having experienced it myself, I'd have to deduce that there is sufficient evidence to support the theory that anal sex can, and is often, done safely and effectively. I would, absolutely, heed all warnings and suggestions mentioned above!

As with any sexual practice.... be careful and be safe!
Aug 08, 2009 @ 06:07 pm


Actually, homosexual men do have issues with that practice.

As I said in an earlier post, many people end up in the hospital for anal tears and infections. Men do just as much as women.

I don't believe that it's the right course of action, as another said, it's not where intercourse is supposed to happen. There are many problems:

Perforated anus
Loss of control of anal muscles (after a while)

If a tear does occur, it is your anus and therefore feces usually will get into the tear and cause an infection.

Personally, I believe the bad outweighs the good of anal sex, but as others said the key is slowly working your way up to it.

Aug 11, 2009 @ 08:25 am

chin up girl!

good for you for being open to new things in the bedroom!

Don't let the other users here scare you away from trying again - if you're up for it, of course.

Like someone mentioned above, do some research - anal sex can be lots of fun, but ONLY if you're relaxed enough. Otherwise, as you've experienced, it can be (at least a little) painful. Penises are.. well, large, so work your way up - a finger, or two (make sure the nails are short!) as a warm up. Lots and lots of lube. Go slowly

If you're playing safe, the good definitely outweigh the not-as-good.

Have fun!
Aug 20, 2009 @ 10:09 pm

Leave A Reply