My bf is into my sis Part 2


Thanks to everyone who gave me advice on part 1 of this forum topic about how my bf is into other girls (including my sister)


I decided to take everyone's advice in and go and talk to my man. Here is roughly how it went down...

Me: "I don't like it when you flirt with other girls. I have to blunt with you."
Him: "I am a man being a man. If you don't like how I act then dump me."

That was it.....he settled in to watch another bounty hunter re-run and I ran for the front door trying REALLY hard not to cry.

I don't even know what to do anymore. He does not seem to want to talk with me about what is going and and it is not fair to me. While he has annoying bits he also has great parts like at the end of august he is taking me to Bahamas. I love some parts of my guy and hate others. Is this a tangible relationship.....can I keep him or do I take his advice and dump him?

Any advice would really be amazing!

Jul 20, 2011 @ 12:31 pm

14 Replies



It sounds like you have a real dilemma on your hands ohlalalane. If this boyfriend of yours is making you so confused about your relationship then that is a sign that maybe you should let this one go. Don't be tricked by vacations in the tropics....that is NOT what love is built on.

Good luck,

Jul 20, 2011 @ 12:33 pm
Ali de Bold

To the left

It sounds like you have your answer loud and clear.
Jul 20, 2011 @ 12:57 pm

Not cool

Sorry you're dealing with something like this right now, relationship issues are always tough and it can be SO hard to figure out what is really best for both people, and actually follow through with it too.
It doesn't seem like he has much respect - he blatantly flirts with your sister (or anyone else for that matter, if you're in a monogamous relationship its obviously not a good idea) and his justification is that he's being a 'man' and you can take it or leave it.. You deserve so much better than that!!! Especially when you are trying so hard to level with him.
Whatever happens, it will be for the best - he might come around, or maybe you'll decide to enjoy the single life for a bit (which can be totally awesomeee!) No matter what, don't stress and surround yourself with good people :) Take care!!!

Jul 20, 2011 @ 12:58 pm

I'm sorry you'er going through all of this

But everyone is right. You can do far
better then this; life is tuff enough with out having to come home to that
every night. It sounds to me like you have a lot of life left to live, so why spend
it like that. He doesn't seem to care much, or he just doesn't believe you will
dump him. Either way he shouldn't be treating the one he's suppose to love like
this. Sure all men look at other woman, we look at other guys too, but having
this woman come into your home, dressed like that sounds funny to me. Vacation
plans or not it's not worth any of this. You can always take another vacation
with someone down the road that you know loves you the way you want to be
loved. I hope you feel better soon and remember there are lots of people in
this great big world of ours for you to meet. Good luck!

Jul 20, 2011 @ 01:14 pm

Shut it down!

In the words of Liz Lemin of 30 Rock, you need to "shut it down". This relationship is obviously toxic and not doing anyone involved any good. He obviously wants something different than what you want so break it off and go your separate ways!
Jul 20, 2011 @ 01:27 pm


Is this for real? Your first bf brings in a live in kitchen helper in the form of your brothers ex wife. This bf tells you that he flirts with girls 'cuz he's being a man and you can like it or lump it?

Gf you're having a pretty bad streak with men! If I were you I'd take his advise, dump his ass and be single for a while. Maybe try and figure out why you're attracting the same type of asshole. Re-evaluate your bar and figure out what you want and why you're getting what you're getting.

Jul 20, 2011 @ 01:55 pm

Dump him

It doesn't even seem like he cares about you since he wasn't willing to really talk to you about it. If he was ready to be committed then he will not be like that towards you. Take Glamgal's advice!
Jul 20, 2011 @ 01:55 pm

That boy is history

That boy should be thrown out faster than acid wash jeans! I am sorry, but it is NO EXCUSE to say "Hey baby, boys will be boys. Accept me for who I am." Is that what he'll say when you catch him with another girl? Or he misses the toilet? SUCH a cheap excuse. He can't be trusted and you have nothing without trust.You say he has good qualities too and I'm sure he does. But this bad quality is definitely outshining the good and that is a huge red flag. I would've walked right out without looking back and I think you should do the same! Ditch the trip to the Bahamas - it's hurricane season anyway ;) He is NOT worth it.
Jul 20, 2011 @ 02:38 pm

My reply

I don't agree with the way he is handling the situation and his attitude but I also don't think that there is a problem with men and/or women looking at some "eye candy". It's normal and natural. We do it all the time with actors/singers etc. I work in a huge institution and people flirt with each other all the time (innocent flirting)...stuff that I'm sure some stuck up people won't agree with but it is INNOCENT.
Jul 21, 2011 @ 04:13 pm


I agree with you when you say everyone "looks" and that there is such thing as innocent flirting. But this guy practically admitted he was doing it when he said, "Accept it, it's who I am". Plus it's never ok to flirt with a family member! Usually we can tell when it's all in good humour and when it's not. And I've noticed most guys will tell you when they're just joking around, even when it's obvious.

Bottom line, I think you should call it quits is because of the doubts you have in him. They'll only get worse and you can't have a relationship built on doubt and mistrust.
Jul 21, 2011 @ 04:33 pm

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