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Need some advice...

LittleOtaku

well let me first just say that me and boyfriend have been together from about two and a half months now and we are the type that usually text back and forth a lot and don't miss a text unless either of us are busy but often times he'll tell me before hand if he's busy or what he'll be busy with. The other day he stops texting me out of the blue so I think to myself well maybe he's just busy with something and forgot to tell me, so I wait. Then about two or so hours pass and no response and I start to get a little worried like, maybe something's wrong so I decide to give him a call ( which he usually always answers ). no answer. so I wait maybe like 30 minutes to see if he'll call back or give me a text saying like, sorry babe I was pretty busy doing something. Nothing. So I call again and to my shock a girl answers, this girl sounds VERY stuck up. This is basically the how the conversation went:
Girl: who's this?
Me (confused): um its xxxx, I'm calling for yyyy (boyfriend).
Girl: yyyy is busy right now.
Me : oh um well okay bye.
Girl: (hangs up)
After this happened I gave up on texting or calling him, I never thought for a second prior to calling his phone that he could be cheating. after about an hour he called me back and said he was helping his family with something and when I asked about the girl who answered his phone he said he didn't know what I was talking about. I stopped asking and tried to let it go but it just doesn't feel right. He never gives anyone his phone, he's very protective of it and there isn't anyone from his family that speaks perfect English like that except for him, his uncle, and cousin and the girl didn't sound like his cousin. I know he has a lot of female friends he talks to and his best friend which whom he goes to visit quit often and in the beginning of our relationship he used to talk about her a lot and I found a paper in his room where he wrote that she was his wifey with very cutesy hearts. I don't know if I'm just being really paranoid or if he's really doing something behind my back 
Oct 01, 2017 @ 06:34 pm

3 Replies


Cmiller14

Odd behaviour

The fact that he said he didn't know what you were talking about with who answered his phone is a red flag to me.
The thing I learned is go with your gut instincts. If something is telling you it's not right. Chances are it isn't
On another note. Give him some space there's no reason why you guys need to be texting or chatting all the time. If he doesn't respond for 2 hours it's not that big of a deal. Then to call him is a little excessive in my opinion.
It's good to have space. It's healthy.

I hope it all works out in the end for you
Oct 01, 2017 @ 07:32 pm
adristorto24

Do you trust him?

I understand that the relationship is fairly new but it seems like you don't fully trust him yet (and with reason). It's sketchy that he's brushing off the fact that you clearly spoke with a woman on the phone. It's sketchier that the person on the other line didn't know who you were - if she did she probably would have responded friendlier once you told her who you were. Usually once you're in a relationship for 10 weeks friends and family typically know who you are.

In his defence, some guys are just very friendly with their female friends. Just like some girls have very close male friends. However, if he senses that you're uncomfortable with how he acts around his female friends he should respect you enough to be more cautious about how his actions are being perceived.


It's easy for our minds to wander when we get that odd feeling. Personally I've always trusted my gut instinct in these types of situations. I think you need to ask yourself if you would like to stay in a relationship where you have so much uncertainty.
Oct 01, 2017 @ 08:17 pm
maddynha

Trust

Trust is so important in any relationship. To me, it does seem strange that he wouldn't just answer your questions and if it seemed like something was a bit off, then it probably was. At the same time, he might have just needed some space.
Oct 19, 2017 @ 01:44 pm

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