Purse holding boyfriends


A colleague of mine came up to me and ask me an interesting question the other day. She said that lately she has noticed several guys holding on to their girlfriend's purses.

She asked me if it was a cultural thing because it's usually a Chinese guy who she sees carrying his girlfriend's purse (could be a coincidence perhaps?).  Although I'm Asian, I personally wouldn't want my guy to ever hold my purse. (I think it's too feminine for a guy to be holding onto).

So far I have asked my Asian girl friends and a couple of my Asian guy friends
 (born in Canada, Hong Kong and Beijing). I've had a pretty good cross section but so far there has been absolutely no consensus. 

Do you think it's sweet? Or de-masculating? Why do some guys do it and not others?

I would love to hear your thoughts!
Jul 23, 2012 @ 11:48 am

19 Replies


not sure if this makes me feminist or the opposite

I personally do not think a guy should hold his lady's purse except for a few moments when she's genuinely inconvenienced, like using the bathroom, etc. I don't like it when I see a woman prancing empty-armed through the shops and her poor hubby/BF is beladen with packages, bags, and her purse. I do find it emasculating and anti-feminist when women assume the men should be like their personal valets. Carry your own purse, girlfriends! Sheesh.
Jul 23, 2012 @ 12:44 pm

why carry one then

My bf has held my purse for me momentarily, but I would never make him carry it around for me. It's your purse, carry it yourself or leave it at home. I completely agree with mamluv.
Jul 23, 2012 @ 02:39 pm

Makes jokes :)

Whenever my husband does hold my purse for me he jokes and laughs about it. Sometimes he asks other people around if it's his color or if it makes him look fat (he is very trim). They laugh and joke with him. He doesn't mind, but I wouldn't make him carry it around all day just a few times every now and then when I need an extra hand or two.
Jul 23, 2012 @ 11:11 pm

I carry my own weight

I would never make my bf carry my purse, it's my stuff I should carry it around, I have asked him to hold it a moment if I have to pick something up or tie my shoes and he holds it under his arm like a football. Luckily I use a purse that I can't overload although sometimes my bf asks me to carry his phone or wallet in my purse but that's usually when he doesn't have pockets.
Jul 23, 2012 @ 11:25 pm


I would never expect my boyfriend to walk around holding my purse. I give it to him to hold when I need to do something else (fix my shoe, get something out of my wallet, etc) but only for a few moments. If I don't want to carry a purse I usually just take out what I need (phone, cards) and ask him to put it in his pocket (guys have SERIOUSLY oversized jean pockets).

To be perfectly honest I wouldn't want to walk around with a guy holding a purse and tell people he's my boyfriend. Awkward for both people.
Jul 25, 2012 @ 06:34 pm

Not His Thing to Do

At the time i was going out with my last boyfriend, I asked him one day to hold my purse for just a second. We were in the store at the time. He looks at me with this weird look on his face, and he's like "you're serious, you want me to hold that THING"? I'm like, "Could you please, just for a second, that's all". And he's like "No". Flat out like that. The way he saw women's purses he saw them as a woman's personal stuff that belongs in them, and that he wouldn't touch one, EVER. I couldn't wrap my head around that, so I just shook it off. Another time I asked him to hold it again, but I was at his house this time, he's like "Put it on the table, I refuse to hold THAT THING", ( now, by this time i was chuckling to myself). "Please"?, I beg him. Still a flat out no. So as he walks by the purse sitting on the table, he looks at it, and get this, (i have to mention, he's quite the funny man, always telling jokes), he starts hissing at it like a cat! LMAO, I damn near died laughing my arse off. I go up to him, and ask him what he's doing, and he's like "THAT THING, get it away"! OMG, here comes the laughter again. Anyways, to say the least, this guy didn't like/want anything to do with purses and/or holding mine. Sad part was, i NEVER asked him to go in my purse and get something, just hold it.
Jul 28, 2012 @ 11:53 am

For a second

I agree with what most people have said. I think it is okay for him to hold it for a second if you really need to. I always feel bad for the boyfriends I see in malls that are carrying all of their girlfriends things and following them around like puppy dogs as they shop. I think it is ridiculous.
Jul 30, 2012 @ 05:46 am
Ali de Bold


I think it's sweet. It depends though on why he's carrying it and for how long. It would be emasculating to expect him to do this for you. My husband has carried my bag if I'm popping into the washroom or if I have other things to carry and he's helping me out, etc. But that's about as far as I think is necessary.
Aug 02, 2012 @ 01:11 pm

No problem

I think if your hands are full or you need your bf to hold onto your purse while you do something else it is no problem.
Aug 16, 2012 @ 09:21 am

Only for a seceond

I personally would not want a guy to be holding on to my purse for long periods of time, but I have seen a lot of Chinese guys holding on to their girlfriends/wives purses and the girl is empty handed.

I asked my FWB if he would ever hold my purse and he said yes but only if I had my hands full and only for a second. Although he has held my heels for me when we were last walking along the beach.
Aug 22, 2012 @ 03:18 pm

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