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Rekindled old flame and can't get over him


Need some advice please. I rekindled a romance with the first boy I loved from high school. It wasn't a serious romance, but he was someone I reeeeally liked. This was nearly 20 years ago. We kept in touch over the years and finally saw each other again this past October. What was supposed to be a casual dinner turned into 3 days of pure bliss. It was insane. He blew off all his friends and I blew off work just to spend as much time with him as possible. The chemistry was electric and those three days with him were the best days I've experienced in a very long time. This is the only man whose held my affections for the better part of 20 years.

The problem is that he lives in another country. But I cannot get him out of my mind. And, worse, I can't seem to have a healthy dating life lately because I'm constantly comparing him to all the guys I meet. And no one seems to measure up to him in terms of charisma, sense of humor, warmth, and beauty. When I was with him, I felt this pure joy, rush and thrill I hadn't felt with anyone in a long time. After the amazing 3 days, we agreed to meet again soon. We texted, emailed and called each other all the time. We kept this going for a good 3 months. Lately, though, the texts and emails are very infrequent. And yes, I realize I must move on as this is an impossible relationship and I need to focus on finding someone who lives in the same time zone--let alone city!

What's more--this guy is something of a celebrity in his country and has (apparently) hordes of girls who seem to throw themselves at him. I know what you're probably thinking. I just can't shake and let go of the amazing connection we shared and the hope that we will one day be together. I'm a hopeless romantic, yes. I'm trying to get a hold of my emotions as it's spiraling out of control. My moods are often determined by the intermittent highs when I hear from him to the usual lows of missing him and not being in contact with him. What to do? Please...anyone. Give me some advice on how to deal. And am I completely insane to think we actually have a chance?
Feb 01, 2010 @ 01:06 am

2 Replies


I'm a hopeless romantic too

Can't one of you move? There are so few chances to find your one great love in life. I'd find a way to make it work.
Feb 01, 2010 @ 09:38 am

talk to him

Talk to him and find out wether you have a chance or not. See how he feels about making your relationship work. Both of you have to re-evaluate your lives and put priority on what you can and can't live without.

If you're together, will he move to be with you, or will you move to be with him?
Who stands to lose more during the move?

If your main priority is HIM and his main priority is YOU then everything else can be worked out.

First thing first, talk to the man! :-)
Feb 03, 2010 @ 04:52 pm

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