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Should women help their fiance pick out the ring?

Ali de Bold

Did you help him pick it out? Did you go to multiple jewelry stores or send 'tell a friend' emails from Tiffany's website to him as a hint?

I'm curious based on this thread that has just started what the rest of you think about the topic.
Jul 19, 2010 @ 11:04 am

7 Replies


hints are okay

I didn't go to stores and look at rings with my finance ... but I did drop a hint about the cut of diamond I preferred. We recently got engaged and the ring is absolutely beautiful. It's his vision with my cut of diamond and it's beautiful. Ultimately, as a woman, you're the one who wears it so you need to make sure you like it but you also need to give your boyfriend a bit of room to put his own touch on it!
Jul 19, 2010 @ 11:22 am


Yes, I agree with Stephb. A general idea of what is important to you is good to share. You are the one who will be wearing it and it has to suit you.

eg. Do you prefer a channel-set ring so it doesn't snag your clothing (or is more appropriate for work), or do you want a more prominent solitaire? Do you want a diamond/gem that is certified to be conflict-free? Is there a particular setting or band metal (eg. yellow gold vs. platinum) you really don't like?

I do think you should leave the rest to your fiance's judgment. It is, after all, his gift to you and should represent his opinion to some degree as well.
Jul 19, 2010 @ 11:30 am

I'd let him decide

I think it's a good idea to let him choose which one to get, that way you'll be in for a surprise! I think he would know you well enough to get you the perfect ring that suits your tastes and wardrobe... or is that wishful thinking?
Jul 21, 2010 @ 03:16 pm

I gave him the best picture ......

I gave a lot of 'hints' about what I wanted.....we did go to some stores together and I pointed out different cuts and styles.....I used to sell jewelry so I know enough about prices, cut, clarity!

When I got my ring, it actually wasn't exactly what I wanted. Don't get me wrong, I love my ring! It just wasn't a lot of what we had looked at....

I have thought about going back and trading in my ring for something more my style but at this point, it's more sentimental for me. I am glad that he went and picked something out himself!

Yes, a girl should give her guy the best possible idea about styles of rings that she likes!
Jul 23, 2010 @ 07:51 pm

agree with mamaluv

I made the mistake of being super picky and dictator-like when it came time to choose my ring. I don't want solitaire (everyone has one!). I don't want one of those that have 3/4 small diamonds on either side with one solitaire-like one in the middle (he got me one and it keeps snagging on my clothes!).

I thought I wanted an eternity ring, but we tried that and I just didn't like the feel of it.

Finally he told me that he wants to pick my ring all by himself.... and he got me a gorgeous chanel-set ring. It is so "me" I don't know why I didn't think of it myself! lol

What mamaluv said is absolutely true. The ring is his gift to you, guide him in the right direction (let him know if you have an issue with stones snagging on clothes, etc.) but let him have the ultimate say.

You can always control what ring you get on your 1st year anniversary!! ;-) haha
Jul 26, 2010 @ 02:24 pm

Picked it myself.

As I didnt expect to get more rings over the years, Id better be sure I had something I really liked - my style. I already knew from the promise ring he had chosen that we had totally different tastes - he gotten yellow gold which I NEVER wear.
So after 8 years married (together 11), I also had to pick out my family ring and just know to give him a detailed list for any gift occasion. Less stressful for him!

Jul 26, 2010 @ 03:20 pm

Picked it myself from his options...

I had showed him a few that I liked that were three-stone style. Then one afternoon, he brought me to the jeweler and thad three there that he had picked and asked which I liked best. It was one that was completely different from what I thought I originally wanted! Later, he told me that was the one he had really wanted to get me as well. So, I think it's nice to have him pick a few and then let you decide "the one," then he has still picked the ring for you, but you know you'll like it! :)

Jul 26, 2010 @ 09:47 pm

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