Sick And Accepting

on Feb 05, 2016 @ 12:15 am

What do you think of a person who is terminally ill not telling their family so that they don't worry? Is it caring and thoughtful or like most people say just a personal decision?

5 Replies

sick and accepting on Feb 05, 2016 @ 12:22 am

Personally I would prefer to know, I would want to try and spend as much time as possible with that person. But I can see their side to it. Who knows they may be keeping it secret as they don't want to take away from someone's wedding or whatever it may be. But, for me, I would want to know.

:) on Feb 05, 2016 @ 05:16 am

I can understand a person not wanting to worry their family but I personally would want to know so I could spend as much time as I could with that person,

Sandra Ribeiro
feb 5, 2016 on Feb 05, 2016 @ 10:19 am

I personally would like to know- spending time with the person or helping them

. on Feb 05, 2016 @ 10:54 am

I would like to know too. When my mom had her brain tumour we knew she was going to die. But her tumour affected her mind so much she didn't comprehend what was going on. I never wanted her to know she was dying so I never gave up hope and made her think she was going to fight it. Now I wonder if I should have did that. I still feel like I never got to say goodbye because we never talked about her dying. I bet my mom knew though. She always said she could see Jesus at her bed and he wanted to take her home.

hard to know where my head would be in this situation on Feb 05, 2016 @ 11:49 am

Thankfully, I've never had a serious illness such that I had to decide whether or not to tell my loved ones. I'm not sure what I'd do in this situation. I know my family would want to know for sure, but I don't know if I'd want to deal with the change in the family dynamic.

When my grandfather became sick, we all knew about it. We tried to spend extra time with him, tried to go out of our way to help. But in a sense, that only emphasized the fact that he was ill! All he wanted was for everyone to act normally but of course, many of us were just one comment away from bursting into tears and all he wanted was for us to have a normal, happy time together while he still could.

Do you grieve while the person is still alive and then they have to be brave for you? Or does the dying person take his/her secret to the grave knowing the devastation they'll leave behind when the family is shocked by the death? I can't even imagine how hard that decision would be.

I guess in the end, if I was the family member I'd want to know. If I was the sick person, I would lean toward not saying anything until near the end.

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