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Third Wheel On a First Date


I love love love my best friend and I would do pretty much anything for her. So I wasn't really that surprised when she asked me to go come with her to meet a guy she had been chatting with online.

She's been on and off a number of dating sites over the past couple of years because she really wants t meet someone. Now it's really important to note that my best friend is quite the catch and she has had lots of interested guys want to date her in the past but she's VERY picky and she doesn't give very many of them much of a chance (if any at all).

Anyways she's been chatting with this guy for a while and now she's decided that she wants to meet him, but she told him she would only do it if I came along. What do you guys think of this?

I dont want to her be put in a dangerous situation or anything so of course I'll go, but how should I act what should I say? Should I suggest we double date to make it less of a third-wheel situation?

Apr 12, 2011 @ 10:37 am

7 Replies


been there!!

Your friend sounds like my bff. Amazing girl, the bestest friend, most level headed, rational, picky as heck girlie girl!

The first time she met her husband, her and I were on the way to Futureshop 'cuz she wanted to buy a netpad. On our way there she said that the manager who works there is someone she's been talking to online and is meeting for the first time and if I'd be OK with that. Of course I was!! We actually had a blast. After buying the netpad, he took us out to lunch. He was such good company that we (at my insistence!) waited around until he finished for the day and went to movies with him. We watched "He's just not that into you", had an awesome discussion/debate on it afterward. They got married, and are very happily married, it's been 2years and counting.

Moral of the story, don't think of it as a date. Think of it as some friends hanging out. Also, you can tell a lot about the guy on how he treats you. Is he easy going and friendly, involving you in the conversation? Or does he make you feel like a third wheel and acts awkward?
Apr 12, 2011 @ 03:38 pm

WOW that was unexpected!

I was totally expecting someone to say that's awkward, why are you even going? thanks for the encouragement!!
Apr 12, 2011 @ 03:58 pm

smart move

I actually think this is a really smart move. Treating this like friends hanging out keeps everyone safe, everyone accountable. A larger group or double date might be even better, but keeping it small is also a little less overwhelming for the guy.

You sound like a great friend, and she's lucky to have you in her corner!

You know what the bottom line is here? Assuming the worst, you are protecting your friend from danger or a very boring date (because you can more easily make up an excuse to leave if you're together), but assuming the best, you get a chance to get a proper read on a guy who may well be around for some time to come. If he can't handle meeting the best friend, then that's not a good sign anyway!

As far as I'm concerned, this is a win/win.
Apr 12, 2011 @ 04:58 pm

Meeting the Best Friend is huge

I agree with you guys. Getting the guy and the best friend to meet is such a good idea and it can tell your friend a lot about the guy.
For example how he treats you - is he easy going? Does he seem to fit your/your friend's humour? Or maybe you don't get along right from the start - that could be a huge tell-tale sign that this relationship just doesn't have lasting power.

Meeting the guy also means that your friend has a chance to watch him interact apart from her and this could give her a lot of insight as well.

I think it's a great idea!

Apr 13, 2011 @ 01:08 pm


More people should really bring a friend along with someone they have met online. It's a smart move!

I'm sure it will be fine - don't think of yourself as the third wheel the whole time, just think of it like the 2 of you are going out for dinner (or wherever) to meet someone new!
Apr 15, 2011 @ 12:04 pm
Ali de Bold

Good idea

I think it's really smart of your friend to have you come along and make sure she is safe and I think you're a good friend to do it. I can see the awkwardness for you, but remember you were invited and just try to think of it like meeting a new friend. Don't feel pressure that you have to do anything. Just be yourself and have fun and if the two of them hit it off they can always go without you next time.
Apr 15, 2011 @ 12:33 pm

Good idea

It's a good idea that she asked you to come along and you're a great friend for doing it. If you're worried that it might get awkward maybe you should also bring a friend so it can be a friendly encounter without you feeling left out or awkward.
May 30, 2011 @ 04:38 pm

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