we were apart and he slept with someone else


broke up with my boyfriend. felt like he would never grow up and caught him commenting some girls pic on myspace saying sexy pic! broke up with him and to get him to snap too and get his life together and realize that i was serious and wanted to stop playing kids games i lied and said i was talking to someone else. I though this would make him het his shit together and work extra hard to be back with me. Instead I find out that while we were apart he slept with some fat girl that has two kids! He didnt come clean at first but eventually broke down crying and told me it happened. he said he was heartbroken that i had someone and got drunk and slept with her. he said he did sleep with her but not too far into he realized it was wrong and pushed her off and left. after that she kept calling him but he told her he was sorry and wanted to try and work things out with me. I refuse to think that he can just break it off like that snap its over? is it wrong that i feel betrayed even though we were apart? How can I be sure he isnt still talking to her? when he confessed he cried so loud and hard ive never seen him cry like that. ever since then he has been calling me leaving me songs on my voicemail and sent me flowers. what do you think is going on? can i trust him? or am i a fool?
Mar 07, 2009 @ 06:14 pm

7 Replies

Ali de Bold


You'll have to trust your instinct with this one. That's tough. I don't think you should lie to get someone to realize what they are missing. If someone isn't treating you properly you are better off to stop seeing them/taking their calls until they change their ways.

I actually feel really badly for that girl too. What a terrible way to be treated.
Mar 07, 2009 @ 08:16 pm

Toss him

You said that you want him to grow up, yet what you did by lying to him
was just as immature and shady. When you have an issue, you need to
talk about it, not play games. If you have approached it before and he
didn't respond well, then he's not worth your time. Also, if it was
that easy for him to sleep with another girl then it won't be hard next
time or the time after that...
Mar 07, 2009 @ 08:29 pm

You know him the best

I agree with misschickie that this is something you'll have to trust
yourself on. I also agree with anonymous that you were trying to
manipulate him and it backfired hard on you.

In the end I think you know him best. You should have an idea if he'd repeat the same pattern again in the future. If you do try to work things out it's probably going to take A LOT of work. Ask yourself if you can trust him again and if you can, what would it take for you to trust him again? Once you answer that I think you'll be well on your way to figuring things out.

Mar 07, 2009 @ 10:16 pm

Head Games!!??

I feel like we all just took a giant step backwards here! We all complain about the head games guys play with us! Wishing they would just be straight with us, tell us the truth and talk things out. And here you are doing just the what we complain about... playing head games!!!

If you felt it was necessary to lie to him, and try to manipluate him into loving you, then there were problems with the relationship to begin with! Caring about someone means being able to talk about things and work things out together! Not lying, pushing them away and manipulating them! I think you need to take a good look at the relationship as it was, not how it is now. The "love" he seems to be showering on you is coming from the wrong place. If it wasn't great before, this situation isn't going to make it better.

You both did things that were wrong and hurtful to each other! How can you claim to care about someone that you can do that to!!??

I appologize if it seems like I'm being harsh here, but there are better ways to deal with problems like this.
Mar 09, 2009 @ 07:38 am
Anonymous 3546

Sorry, but I agree.

In situations where you break up with another, be very sure you have thought out the possible outcomes. Doing it as a power play never works.
As an aside what she looks like and whether she has kids is not pertinent to this discussion.

I am sorry you are hurting, but if you really want to work things out with this person you must be honest with yourself and with him. You must also let the past go. He could easily say I refuse to believe that you were just making up the person you said you were seeing, or he could say I refuse to believe you are not going to break up with me again.

If you want it to work you lmust let go of the past and start fresh.

Best of luck.

This is hard. Take care.
Mar 10, 2009 @ 12:33 pm


thank for taking the time to answer my questions everyone! you have really made it clear for me to make my decision
Mar 10, 2009 @ 08:15 pm

Get him tested

After he brings you an STD report that shows hes clean you 2 need to start being honest with each other or it wont ever work out.

Crying, songs and flowers always show up after they make a mistake so dont put any stock or faith into them. Instead think back to before the mistake and try to remember if there were any flowers or songs.

We love to pick out the handfull of nice moments from the bucket that has thousands of bad ones and pretend they are the only ones that exist. Hopefully your bucket has more than a handful of nice moments.

Him being in love with you and sleeping with someone else doesnt add up. He might like you a lot and think your nifty to have around but theres no way in the world he would have ended up sleeping with someone else so soon if he was in love with you.

Having said that, though, you dont really have a leg to stand on as far as him sleeping with the other person. You broke up with him. Now.. why did you break up with him? It was because he was telling some other girl she had a sexy pic.

So now your back with him. Does this mean he cant tell people they are sexy but he can sleep with them? I think you need to decided exactly what it is you want before you attempt to manipulate someone into being who you want them to be.
Mar 13, 2009 @ 08:27 pm

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