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When to say "I love you"


I have been dating this guy for almost 3 months and the big L word has not popped up from either one of us. I am definitely at the point where I wanna say it but I know that saying it before the other person is ready can be a mistake. Should I wait for him to say it first? Also, should I be worried that we have been dating seriously for 3 months and he hasn't said it yet? or do you think he is thinking the same thing and waiting for me to say it first.
Sep 23, 2008 @ 12:30 am

6 Replies


the waiting game

waiting for him to say it first? Yes, this kind of approach may well be what he is doing too. You have to look at your relationship critically and decide if you think it's deep enough to handle the L word - even if he's not ready to say it back. Someone has to be the first to say it, and it may as well be you. Test the waters by having a discussion about how good your relationship is. If he seems enthusiastic it's a good sign.

I wouldn't be worried about not having it come up after 3 months. My husband and I dated for almost 5 months before he finally said it (and he was first!). Doesn't mean he doesn't feel it, but he might be shy or worried about your reaction.
Sep 23, 2008 @ 08:16 am
Ali de Bold

call me old fashioned

I'd let him say it first. Generally speaking (and I do mean generally),
men like to pursue and feel like they have won you over. They also can
take a bit longer to be ready for a commitment. That doesn't mean all
guys are like that and you'd need to figure out if that sounds like him
or not.

Men can be just as nervous to say the L word as we are. He may be
showing you by his actions that he is falling in love with you but
isn't quite ready to verbalize it. Love is much deeper than the
surface feelings you initially have when you start dating someone. I
would give it a bit more time and not push that conversation. If you've
been together for more than 9 months and still haven't heard anything I
would definitely initiate a discussion to see if you both feel the same
way. 3 months is still early so don't sweat it quite yet.
Sep 23, 2008 @ 09:08 am


you definitely have to say it first. he probably would've done it a long time ago if you did. personally i think 3 months is long enough. the next time you have a REALLY GREAT time, you're probably really going to want to say it then. wait 3 days from then, and if you're still as enthusiastic then as you were that day/night - it's time. consider it a 99% guarantee from this beacon of male insight that he's waiting for it from you, but has probably been burned before in the process of saying it first and she wasn't quite ready. no guy i know or have ever known has marched 3 months into a relationship without loving the chick. if you say it and i turn out to be wrong about this i'll mail you the funds required to make a cardboard cutout of the dude for purposes of throwing knives at it.
Oct 30, 2008 @ 05:33 pm
Ali de Bold


Steve, you are a riot! Love your advice from the other related posts to.
Oct 30, 2008 @ 07:46 pm


you give fantastic advice yourself, miss!...so does that mean you're going to set me up with one of your fashion show chicks?
Oct 30, 2008 @ 10:05 pm
Ali de Bold


good one ;)
Oct 31, 2008 @ 09:32 am

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