Who should pay on the 1st date?

Ali de Bold

I read a blog post recently about the awkwardness of who should pay for the first date. I have strong opinions on this but what do you guys think?
Jul 10, 2007 @ 11:04 am

22 Replies


whoever asked

I think the first date should be paid by the person who did the asking. Or if the date is comprised of multiple elements, say dinner and ice cream, the asker should pay for dinner and the secondary item can be paid by the other person. I guess I come from an equality mindset in relationships/dating -- trade off who pays, unless its a special occasion.
Jul 10, 2007 @ 11:27 am

Not cheap Just old Fashioned.....

I too have strong convictions about this very topic. In my opinion it should be the man to pay on the first date. That is somewhat the way that it has been thru the years for me and I feel that it is wrong for a woman to feel bad that she did not pay on the first date, hopefuly the first will lead to the second and then at that point you can offer to pay or not.....
Jul 10, 2007 @ 05:07 pm

traditionally set

I would like it if a man paid for the first date - to me that just shows he's a gentleman and still has a sense of tradition. The first date gives a big impression about his mannerisms. Although I think men should pay on the first date, I would prepare to go dutch.

I paid for a guy on the first date before...and I quickly realized that he was just a big mooch...who enjoyed spending $ on himself and other people buying things for him to support his extravagant lifestyle.
Jul 10, 2007 @ 06:02 pm


I agree that then man should pay for the first date...especially if he asked you on the date. I would always prepare to pay for myself but would hope that the man would pay for the first date.
Jul 11, 2007 @ 04:28 pm

I would never pay

I never offer to pay for the first date. It gets him conditioned early to think I'm a cheap date and I won't have that. I bring money just in case but if I pay for date 1, there is no date 2.
Jul 12, 2007 @ 02:10 pm


anonymous, you're a riot! True though, a little gallantry goes a long, long way.
Jul 13, 2007 @ 09:12 am

First date?

I do think that the man should pay.It is a nice, gentlemanly gesture. But I also think that overtime when you have been a couple for awhile, then it is nice to treat your man sometimes.

When I pay for my boyfriend it makes me feel good inside, like I am treating someone that I love and care for. It feels nice to give sometimes.

I do want to point out that I do know many women out there who take (or who have taken) the man in their lives for granted. Just to say ladies, if he feels unappreciated, he will most likely leave you.

NO man likes a high maintenance woman.

I hate to say this, but unfortunately there are so many out there.

Even if you have been a couple for a while, I think that it is still totally not a bad idea to thank your man whenever he takes you out. Then he feels appreciated and loved.
Jul 13, 2007 @ 07:36 pm
Ali de Bold

After the first couple of dates...

Once you've moved past the first few dates, you should certainly start to chip in and treat him from time to time. And of course, always remember to say thank you so he feels appreciated.

It's funny but for some reason I think there are a lot of men out there who love a high maintenance woman. Not high maintenance as in a jerk, but someone who gives them the thrill of the chase and makes them work a little...

Jul 14, 2007 @ 10:53 am


I find this thread pretty interesting. I never knew I was so much in the minority. I understand the whole tradition of men paying and courting. But w/ this era of empowering females, I would've thought we'd have stepped outside the box a little bit.

I am the first to agree that it is nice to be paid for and treated. I'm no dude, but I'd hazard to say they feel the same way. Having them pay most of the time and then chiding them w/ a "thank you" seems so trite, like he's a little pet.

Women have strived so hard for equality, but maybe when it comes down to simple things, tradition is still preferred.
Jul 14, 2007 @ 12:27 pm

Whoever asks should pay

I started dating my husband when I was still in highschool. At that point, he had money and I didn't, so the only way we could go out was if he paid, so I admit some hypocrisy when I say this:
I agree with spotty that we have come a long way towards gender equality. Having the man pay all of the time re-enforces the patriarchal idea of a strong man providing for "his woman", as if the woman can be purchased by dinner and a movie. Anyway, I believe that whoever asks should pay.
Jul 15, 2007 @ 08:57 pm

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