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Why are inlaws so hard to please??


Why is it that no matter what, my husband's parents always blame the "in-law"? Like their son is perfect and can do no wrong but I'm always to blame.

I should have seen it coming with the other in-law, my husband's brother's wife who is blamed for everything that goes wrong. If their kid is fat, it's her fault, if they're late for sunday dinner, it's her fault. They constantly talk about her behind her back and I'm sure they're doing it to me as well since lately I've been getting in trouble for doing the same thing my husband does (though they never say anything to him about it).

I just hate it when parents in law make you out to be the bad guy and their son is this perfect angel. Why can't they accept me too?
Feb 24, 2007 @ 06:02 pm

3 Replies


Very common

I personally don't experience this, nor am I married (but am in a long term relationship) but a lot of people I know go through this. It is always easier to blame someone you aren't as close to, and in a lot of families (especially southern european) men are gods, so, it's always the womans fault.

If you know they are like this than don't sweat it (which is hard) but, really, if you know that is always going to be their reaction you know there opinion is worthless and just laugh it off - people can be really stupid.

Also, why doesn't your husband stand up for you to his parents? I mean, if it were reversed I'm sure you would defend him!
Mar 07, 2007 @ 02:28 pm

He tries to

He does stand up for me but he doesn't put a lot of effort into it. He is so used to his parents saying dumb things that it hardly phases him and half the time I have to point out to him after the fact what his parents said.

When I confront him about it he says I should take it like water off a duck's back - because that's what he does. My family isn't like that so it really hurts me if his parents think I'm an idiot because I really want them to like me/accept me. I also think when we have kids I don't want them to treat them great but hate me.

They should accept me for the simple fact that I love their son.
Mar 08, 2007 @ 10:17 am

Not an Excuse

I don't really think that him saying he doesn't notice it is much of an excuse. Maybe I'm just being judgemental but, if something REALLY bothers you he should try to make it more managable.

Sadly, sometimes parents don't think that anyone will ever be good enough for their son and they won't let it go. If you know you are doing everything you can do make the relationship work with his parents than you can't do anymore - as long as you know you are doing what's right.

I mean, when it comes to having kids, they really should not treat you badly in front of the children - that's not good at all!!!!!!!!! Your husband will really have to step it up a notch at that point!
Mar 25, 2007 @ 02:23 pm

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