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Why is Ex BF trying to hurt me?


I went out with my ex bf for 3 yrs and broke up 1 month ago. it was a mutual decision because we kept fighting and fell out of love.

We broke up temporarily 2yrs ago, during which time we were "unofficially" together for 6mnths. During this time, he was going to parties with this girl (he didnt tell me, but i found out when she was msging him). He said she was just a friend but i didnt like the flirty msges and he said he would not keep in contact with her as we were trying to work things out.

When we got back together, he added her on Facebook and i got upset so he took it off. A few months later when he was checking his inbox&i was there and saw emails between them where he apologiesd profusely for deleting her and going on about me being a pyscho gf and my "insecurity" problems. of course i was upset and he again promised not to keep in contact with her, which he didnt for 2 yrs.

Anyway now we have broken up but we want to remain friends and have spoken and been civil and repsectful. Today I see that he has added her to his FB again and she is now commenting on all sorts of things on his wall as if she is his bestfriend! Not to mention she is GORGEOUS and I am not so gorgeous =(

He KNOWS i would be deeply hurt by this so I can only think he is doing it on purpose. We speak now and then and though I am trying to move on with my life, I would not do anything that would hurt him, at least not this soon. i think 1 month is very soon after 3yrs together.

Sorry for long post, but I am really upset. It hurts to know he purposely would hurt me and that its out there in public for all to see. What do you guys think? How do I stop hurting and feeling betrayed/himiliated?
Feb 05, 2009 @ 01:33 am

4 Replies


additional info

oh yeah and i am not going to look at his FB again, i know i can be that strong.
I'm just SO hurt that he can try to hurt me on purpose, and thats after we agreed on being friends.
Feb 05, 2009 @ 01:38 am
Ali de Bold

Don't be friends with him

I think being friends with your ex is way overrated. It rarely works. UNLESS:

1. It has been a long time since your breakup and you have both moved on or;

2. You are both truly buddy buddy and neither of you is harboring any romantic feelings whatsoever.

I would stop being friends with him since this is hurting you. The fact that he called you a psycho to that girl way back when and he was dishonest with you and now is right back at it with this same girl says he probably wasn't top notch relationship material to begin with. I don't mean to be offensive, just if you are ready for a relationship you don't talk about your sig other that way and you don't continue relationships behind their back that are hurtful. It sounds to me like you would be better off to remove him from your FB and continue on with your fabulous life sans ex bf baggage.

Just my 2 cents.
Feb 05, 2009 @ 04:27 pm

First step to moving on

Ok I did it. I woke up this morning and just decided to block him from
my FB and MSN and delete albums of our holidays/anniversaries etc.

I feel great! Now I can do what I want/ post whatever I want, be
friends with whoever I want - finally I can concentrate on myself and
not him!

Btw the girl has a bf so i know they are seeing each other, so I still
think he did it on purpose to hurt me. But who cares right??

misschickie - you are right, its too hard being friends! I have all the
time in the future to be friends again if I still care when I've moved
on. probs wont tho since he wasnt even that nice to me when i was his

spikes244 - ur honestly really hit me. "
my advice for you is to move on. he has why can't you?" harsh but i needed to hear that!

Thanks guys! who knew something like deleting him from FB/MSN would make such a difference.
Feb 06, 2009 @ 01:52 am
Ali de Bold


Good for you! Now every time you feel like re adding him call up a friend and step away from the computer. You will get through this and feel so much better soon :)
Feb 06, 2009 @ 03:33 pm

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