Would you date someone who wasn't your "type"?


I read an interesting article on MSN this morning - a must-do list for (newly) single girls.  Some of the entries were quite interesting, like casually* dating men who fall outside your usual profile.

* older men, who will treat you like a princess
* funny men, who make you laugh until it hurts
* men who turn out to be jerks - they make you appreciate the really good guys out there.

I had a good friend in high school declare his affection for me, but since he was very overweight I turned him down (even though personality-wise we might have been a great match).  I now realize how shallow that was, but as it turned out we are both happily married to other people so I suppose it wasn't meant to be...

I'm curious - have you ever taken a chance on someone you weren't immediately drawn to, and how did that work out? 

*personal disclaimer - I'm not endorsing or referring to bed hopping or any "risky" behaviour, but rather the simple activity of going on a date.
Jul 26, 2010 @ 10:14 am

14 Replies


....yes :-)

I didn't want to be in a relationship. Really. I wasn't one of those people who said that while secretly waiting for prince charming to whisk them away. I TRULY did NOT want to be in a relationship. And I'm really not the type who needs to be in a couple to be happy.

So here comes this guy out of the blue wanting to be my friend. One of the first things that still stick to my mind is when he said being his friend wouldn't harm me in any way. We started off as friends. His opinions would sometimes rub me the wrong way, and I would perversely be impressed that he's not trying to impress me by agreeing with me or saying what he knows would earn him points. I have major trust issues. As weird as it sounds, him being himself and not trying to impress me really went a long way to earn my trust.

He can't sing, he isn't a body builder, he doesn't even know how to sweet talk!! But he is SO MY TYPE its
unbelievable!!! He personifies and embodies my ideal partner. I think even when we're old and wrinkled I'll still think he's the hottest boy in town (mentally and physically), because what makes him HIM and makes him irresistible to me will still be there. I remember the first time I went out with him I came back flushed with happiness and couldn't stop talking about him to my gf.. all of my sentences beginning with "he's not my type but...." lol

Long story short.....we're now very happily married.
I never knew I could ever be this happy :-)

Jul 26, 2010 @ 03:39 pm

When I was single..

In my 20's I did date a nice guy 'hoping' it would turn out more like the 'attraction at first sight' I was more drawn to. But I just couldnt get past the lack of chemistry as time went on so it didnt last a summer.
I have never had a friend morph into a lover although I had a 'friends with benefits' where the attraction but not the long term potential was there from the beginning.

So while I do believe in expanding your dating profile when starting out - just to meet more people, you never know what friends THEY may introduce you to..........I dont think going against your attraction instinct would work out for long.

Jul 26, 2010 @ 03:40 pm

of course....

If you date your 'types' exclusively, you could miss out on someone really great!
Jul 31, 2010 @ 08:30 pm

Yes but....

Of course every single gal needs to have some standards, but I think that a lot of people may have high or unrealistic expectations of what their "type" is. If you overlook someone who could potentially be perfect for you just because you usually go for brunettes and he's a redhead, that's a bad idea!!

But at the same time, if you come from a family of comedians and surround yourself with funny people, you may already know that a quiet and timid guy wouldn't be right for you.

Aug 03, 2010 @ 01:37 pm
Katy Murphy

Be there and dated that

Hey, I've been in that situation before where I've had someone ask me out when I wasn't really interested in them and I don't know why, but I was completely repulsed by but I said yes. The thought of kissing them made me cringe, the thought of their arm around me made me want to push away. But, having someone to share things with I think it was triggered me to say yes to him. I wanted someone to call a boyfriend. clearly at the time I was a little desperate to be loved. I knew he wasn't right for me but I gave him a chance with the hopes that perhaps if I got over my silly ideas of the perfect man. I didn't but it opened my eyes to the possibility of dating various types of different people.
Aug 06, 2010 @ 02:16 pm
Ali de Bold


I think it depends on how different he is from your type though. I was always drawn to muscular athletic guys and there were a few times I dated someone who didn't fit that profile.

Once it was just like katy-murphy said where I would cringe when there was physical contact because I just wasn't attracted to him. After that I vowed never to put myself in that situation again. At the time I justified it, thinking maybe I had been too shallow in the past but there is nothing you can do to make yourself attracted to someone.

My husband is not a meat-head but he is definitely athletic. I didn't notice how fit he was until we played beach volleyball together as friends and I saw him in nothing but shorts. I'll admit I looked at him differently from that point onward! He has a much wider range of interests than most guys I've ever dated and most importantly, he's really smart. I could never been with someone less intelligent than myself because it would be too easy to conquer them and I find that hard to respect.
Aug 06, 2010 @ 06:58 pm

yes but

I would have to find something about him attractive...either personality or the way he carries himself..I would have to have some kind of attraction
Aug 10, 2010 @ 09:47 pm

Agree with Martac

I would date someone else, but there'd need to be some attractive feature according to my tastes. Just keeping it real!
Aug 11, 2010 @ 10:46 am

Don't place limits...

I used to date just one type (tall, built, jock like)... then it got boring - same old topics same old dates! Eventually after being part of different social circles and expanding my interests, I was introduced to just the opposites and in betweens, the ones that are spontaneous and funny! So, it really comes down to chemistry and 50% of that can be in a guy that you never imagined being with.
Aug 11, 2010 @ 11:23 am

Go for it!

I've often thought how difficult and nerve-wracking it must be for guys to ask a girl out and then get shot down. OUCH! Some guys it doesn't seem to bother but others never seem to get over the horror of being turned down. For that reason alone, I think if the guy is nice but not really your type, what does it hurt to go out for dinner or a movie? You might enjoy it and find out that he IS your type after all- you just didn't know it yet. I'm sure that more than a few incredible relationships have started this way.

Aug 13, 2010 @ 05:36 pm

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