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yelling, is it abuse?


I have a friend who's husband yells at her a lot... over simple things, when he is upset about something... he just raises his voice and does not think anything is wrong with it ( even if there is a time in between love making  he yells at her). She just sits back and takes it, but if she talks back to him ( which is not often, he looks at her and asks what is wrong with her ), or if she snaps it him, he gives her a look, and gets grumpy, leaves the house, gets in the car and speeds away. She is a very kind and caring person, does not raise her voice unless she is very upset, or sees another person hurting over another person's actions.
My question is, since she is trusting me with her personal life, should I suggest some therapy for 1 or both of them,because I am concerned it is sign of emotional abuse. 
Feb 11, 2019 @ 05:45 pm

6 Replies


Yes, yelling is abuse

Sorry to hear about your friend, I'm glad she opened up to you. I hope that she can get some professional help with all the emotional abuse she is enduring. It's not "normal" to be yelled at all the time.
Feb 11, 2019 @ 09:30 pm


Abuse comes in many forms - physical, sexual, verbal, emotional, financial - and yelling definitely falls into that. Simply raising your voice to someone can be emotionally taxing and therefore abusive. The content and context can only make it worse.

Feb 28, 2019 @ 05:02 pm

Yes. Yelling is abusive.

The constant yelling and belittling is definitely abusive. Unfortunately, most abusive situations get worse, not better.

Therapy would be a good idea for your friend to help her work on her own self esteem, etc.

I would caution against couple's therapy with an abusive partner unless they have gone through individual therapy with a good no nonsense therapist to work on their abusive tendencies. A lot of the time the abuser just learns new tactics to abuse the other person and make them feel like they are imagining it or are to blame for it.

I hope your friend gets the help she needs and realizes that this is not her fault and she deserves to be treated better.
Mar 01, 2019 @ 08:20 am

Something to share with your friend

Mar 01, 2019 @ 08:28 am

Absolutely yes

This sounds like textbook emotional manipulation/abuse. Please offer help to your friend or encourage her to seek professional support so she can extricate herself from this situation.
Mar 01, 2019 @ 04:19 pm


I agree with everything that @ Broken_ Bliss has posted.
She needs to speak to someone, BY HERSELF.
Mar 04, 2019 @ 10:50 pm

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