Abusive relationship help please

Anonymous

Okay so ive been in a relationship for 8 months with this guy and it started with him being manipulative and cheating he stopped cheating and we were good for awhile but then we got in some fight i dont even remember what over and he slapped me and held me down by my throat while i cried he stopped and held me and said he loved me and it wouldn’t happen again but its happened 3 other times since the most recently cause he blocked a guy ive been friends with since middle school on my snap and said not to unblock him and I thought it was stupid so I jokingly just went on my block list didnt add him back or anything but my boyfriend slapped me pretty hard across the face and when i tried to get dressed and leave he wouldn’t let me and held me down and took my phone till I apologized and layed with him. He broke up with me after but said he didn’t want to live without me and i took him back i tried to end it a few days ago and he said he was going to die if he didnt have me crying until i said we werent over now i feel like i cant get out but should I believe him and give him another shot but i feel stupid for still loving him so much what do i do?

fredamans

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Don't feel stupid for who you love, feel stupid if you stay where you're being abused and know it.
Get out now!

skincareenthusiast

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I was in a similar relationship a few years ago and kept thinking that things would change and that next time it would be different. The truth is it never does change and once you get out of the situation where you can think clearly without the manipulation clouding your judgement you realise how toxic things really were. Someone threatening to kill themselves if you leave them is the lowest of low manipulation tactics and shouldn't be the reason someone stays nor would it ever be their fault. It's not healthy for someone to control who you're allowed to talk to or to cheat on you or to ever harm you. It feels really hard to leave but it's worth it when you're finally free from being controlled and realise how much happier life is. An abuser lacks respect and that's something that wont ever magically appear one day.

Anonymous

<<

Get out while you can love, don't ever let anyone make you feel less than. Its better to be alone than in bad company. Especially a man who threatens you by taking his life. Don't feel responsible for him he is nothing but a coward. Please know that you are worthy of love don't settle for less. I hope this finds you well. <3

Freakedoutt

Thanks

You’re right he doesnt respect me there’s good moments too but its not worth manipulation and waiting for the next fight

Lovetoreview

Walk away.

Please you need to get out of this relationship I was trapped for 7 years. Get out as soon as you can. My ex was getting his mistress to stalk me and denied he was seeing anyone. You will be stronger than ever. Add me as a friend x

RaeBlair

You are valid and you deserve better

I was in an abusive and manipulative relationship from sixteen to twenty-one.

When I tried multiple times to leave, he used the same threats: he will harm himself or he will kill himself. Please believe me when I tell you that these are empty threats. When I finally left my ex-boyfriend, he moved on quickly and had nothing but the worst to say about me. His life progressed as mine did too and we distanced from one another's paths. We haven't interacted since.

Please also take seriously the possibility that he could harm you in a very serious way. Whether you have left or not.

I can't tell you to leave. You know you have to. I can't tell you it's wrong. You know that it is. Only you know your limit and your breaking point. Only you can decide when enough has been enough and close this chapter of your life towards healing and resolution. You may feel like you love him. You may really, truly and deeply love him. That is going to make this harder to do and make it easier to excuse and empathize with him. Try your very hardest to step outside of yourself and your relationship and that might help you!

I am so proud of you for reaching out and for listening to the voice in your head that says that how he treats you is NOT okay and not right. That it IS abuse. You are amazing and valid and deserve to be treated with respect, kindness, love and dignity. You deserve to be built up, not torn down.


If you would like to talk with someone, learn more about abuse or find help, please visit any of these resources. You are not alone and you can escape.

Break The Cycle

Love Is Respect

Kids Health Teens
Help Guide - Leave an Abusive Person
Ending Violence Canada
7Cups Peer Therapy
Huddol Peer and Professional Therapy

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