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Any advice please???


Okay so for the past 4 years I have been talking to this guy online and I really want to meet him. The opportunity has come up where next week he will only be 2 hours away from me. The only problem is, I'm working on losing 100 pounds (and I've hid that from him!). I don't want to meet him until I've lost the weight. I'm afraid he won't like me because he doesn't realize how big I am, now I have no clue what to do!!!
Dec 14, 2016 @ 12:37 pm

9 Replies



First of all be careful, I am just ending a long distance relationship. I had no problems meeting him we talked a long time before we met in person. We are still good friends. Tell him about the weight and I. Sure if he loves you he will still want to see you, be honest it's the best thing to do. You will be surprised I'm sure please keep us informed. Message me if you want to talk I understand where you are coming from. :)
Dec 14, 2016 @ 02:47 pm

Meet Him

My saying is always, if you meet someone online, go meet them in person right away. Under your circumstances, you couldn't meet him and now is the perfect time. Honesty is always key to any lasting relationship. You have been talking to him online for the past 4 years. It's good to know the person as who they are in real life and not just on screen.

That being said, if he is whom you think he is, he will accept you for who you are. Beauty is from within. You are beautiful no matter what anyone else tells you. Believe in that!

It goes both ways, you could see his true colors and he could see yours. I would really go meet him. Make sure you do it in a public place! That way you don't keep yourself wondering any longer. I know, it's hard because online dating and etc... give most people somewhat of a fantasy and most of us don't want it to end. Soon or later, you have to meet that person in real life and face reality. It's a much better relationship when you do get to meet in person and have a connection. If you don't, it's just not meant to be. Then you are not wasting anymore time on something that is not.

Point is, meet him. It will save you a lot of time and the stress of wondering all the what if's. I wish you all the best and good luck. Update us on what your outcome is. :)
Dec 15, 2016 @ 12:43 pm

Have Fun (but be safe!)

Before I remet DH, I online dated - nothing wrong with it, I had some short term BF's, made friends (even went to one of their weddings a few years ago with my husband!), and it was a good way to help me get out of my shell a bit.

As usual, meet in a neutral place, I wouldn't recommend going anywhere secluded for the first meeting, and ensure a few of your people know where you are at all times (do they have phone tracking programs for your phone they could follow just in case?).

Also follow your gut instinct - if something feels off, just be aware of your surroundings.

Let him know about your goals and exercise/eating regime. You're not going to be able to hide it, and perhaps it's something you have in common or can share ideas around. I love talking fitness and meal prepping with people, so if someone brings it up, it brings up a whole new different level of common interests :)
Dec 16, 2016 @ 03:56 pm


Very good advice @crystaljam
Dec 18, 2016 @ 05:38 am


This sounds like a good chance to see who he really is. Either he will accept you "as is" and you can share your journey with him, or he will not, and you'll know he is more interested in the physical aspects. I know it would be tough, but maybe sending him a message that says " this is my challenge, and this is why I haven't told you for so long..." Be honest with him. I'm thinking from his end he may wonder why you haven't been more upfront, so addressing that honestly (and yes, vulnerably) may take the sting out of the conversation.

Good luck, and remember, he is attracted to your brain...after 4 years you no doubt have a connection that goes beyond.
Dec 18, 2016 @ 06:04 am


Follow the very good advice in this thread and go for it!
Dec 18, 2016 @ 07:54 pm

Thinking of you!

Hi Shalyn! Just stumbled upon your post and couldn't help but wonder if you met up with him?
Jan 24, 2017 @ 11:03 am


I was wondering the same thing...
Jan 25, 2017 @ 12:16 pm

nooooo girl do not worry about this

Hey don't worry about that, if you haven't even met yet, I'm sure he can't be basing how much he likes you on looks! Or at least not completely! He should know that looks are not everything if you have been talking to eachother for so long.
Feb 07, 2017 @ 08:12 am

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