| eddy, yes you should be commended for your restraint and willingness to
learn via sacrifice. and your idealism is kinda nice. maybe my comment
was unclear - what i meant was that in all likelihood the longer you
wait the harder it will get. when you arrive at a place where you feel
worried about it you are going into negative equity and possibly
placing too much value on the whole thing. i had a few completely mad
and amazing flings in my youth that i look back on with a smile, i have
also spent a chunk of time on the good/committed continuum. have also
been date-raped by a tennis pro who was only supposed to rub a sore
shoulder (maybe he just wasnt great at anatomy?). there, bit of a mood
killer but important. so, knowing someone or at least feeling
comfortable with them and having full consent is the cornerstone of
what can be fantastic. but, like an artist with a painting, when
something is over-worked the joy /genius can be stripped away.
ultimately sex would be best when result is feeling good in a healthy
way, feeling life is better for it rather than worse. and i suppose its
true that sometimes the longer one waits the more expectation one has
and expectation can be lousy in bed. the flings were in all likelihood
made fun by their outright spontenaity (should add the flings werent
with complete strangers did have a link somewhere be it friends cousin
or whatever). you can never completely know a person, at some point you
will have to accept 'enough'. tell you what, ask 10 women for their
number/ on a date this week and i will be very very impressed.
statistically 1 yes would be a good result but doing it will free you
in a way you cant imagine. it will de-personalise the process and who
knows you may have the most fun month of your life, sex or not. my money goes on you will be ok. |