Pet Peeve: How to Walk Beside a Lady
I feel like this public service announcement is necessary for the masses to hear. I am tired of being pushed around on the sidewalk. Men, take note!
5. Never walk more than 2 abreast. There is nothing I detest more than getting stuck behind a pack of inconsiderates who fan out to form an impenetrable line of 4 abreast. The thoughtless wonders who generally do this are also walking at a tourist's pace so it is impossible the rest of us to get to work in time! The world is NOT your oyster! Move over or walk behind each other!
4. Whistling, cat calling and leering are anything but sexy. While you may think that shouting out brilliant things like, "Hey Baby!" or "Got some fries with that shake?" will make us want to stop, turn around and make mad love to you, you are a dumbass. The same goes with leering.
3. Do the math. If you could be our Grandfather, trust! It isn't going to happen! Keep your skeevy eyes in their sockets. While you imagine yourself to be desirable with your horrible breath, your wild eyes and your geriatric outfit, you aren't. And your wife probably doesn't find your behavior sexy either.
2. Don't spit. What foul thing is in your mouth that you need to hork in public? Have you considered flossing or brushing your teeth? Are you aware of the terrible noise you make when you spit?
And finally...
1. Street grates are extremely hazardous for the heeled woman. We get stuck in them and they ruin perfectly good shoes. If you are walking towards us or beside us and see we are wearing high heels, move the hell over! You can walk your flat footed feet on the grate with no issues.
5. Never walk more than 2 abreast. There is nothing I detest more than getting stuck behind a pack of inconsiderates who fan out to form an impenetrable line of 4 abreast. The thoughtless wonders who generally do this are also walking at a tourist's pace so it is impossible the rest of us to get to work in time! The world is NOT your oyster! Move over or walk behind each other!
4. Whistling, cat calling and leering are anything but sexy. While you may think that shouting out brilliant things like, "Hey Baby!" or "Got some fries with that shake?" will make us want to stop, turn around and make mad love to you, you are a dumbass. The same goes with leering.
3. Do the math. If you could be our Grandfather, trust! It isn't going to happen! Keep your skeevy eyes in their sockets. While you imagine yourself to be desirable with your horrible breath, your wild eyes and your geriatric outfit, you aren't. And your wife probably doesn't find your behavior sexy either.
2. Don't spit. What foul thing is in your mouth that you need to hork in public? Have you considered flossing or brushing your teeth? Are you aware of the terrible noise you make when you spit?
And finally...
1. Street grates are extremely hazardous for the heeled woman. We get stuck in them and they ruin perfectly good shoes. If you are walking towards us or beside us and see we are wearing high heels, move the hell over! You can walk your flat footed feet on the grate with no issues.
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