Ahahahahahahaha!  Hahahaha! Haha - I just love a good joke.

Before I had my baby I thought balancing motherhood and my career was not going to be a problem.  But, I was a bit nervous about what would happen to my business the first year while I took some time off.  So I got advice from a number of women who were successful in business and somehow managed to keep the momentum going through Motherhood.  They all encouraged me that it is possible to balance both and that having babies doesn't mean that part of your life is over.  One even told me that she had become more successful after the birth of her son because it forced her to be more focused with her time, working more intensely in less hours so she could come home on time to her baby.

This is what I have been trying to do in the last year.  But I have learned that it is very difficult to do two critical things well.  My six year old business and one year old boy both need a lot of my time and when I focus on one, I'm not giving full attention to the other.  I have had to accept that I was better at my job a year ago than I am now.  Where I would have stayed late to complete a pitch, I have now traded for being home on time, or walking late night laps around the neighbourhood to soothe my teething boy.  I have rescheduled meetings for sick days and sleepless nights.  I have taken the day off and delegated important tasks to team members when I know he needs me. 

I'm not saying I haven't found some measure of balance but I have repeatedly had to make choices where something has to give.  Some days I feel like I did a terrible job at both, some days I think I've figured it all out.

I know I could leave my son with the nanny for the sick days.  I could hire a night nurse so I can still sleep when he can't, but I feel it is my responsibility.  I want to be the one that holds him when he has a fever or has pulled the nightstand down on himself (yet again).  I want to be the one to see his first steps, hear his first words and be the one he reaches for when he's sad.  I want to be the one that raises him, and not just on evenings and weekends.

If the decision to stay home full time was purely based on emotions, I imagine most Mothers would prefer to stay home.  It's really hard to leave those chubby cheeks, the toothy smile with drool dripping from the chin and the doughy, dimpled little hands reaching for you to stay. 

But there are many other things to consider.  Financially, most families need two incomes - especially in cities like Toronto where an entry level home starts at $500,000.  Going back to work isn't even a question. It's that or go broke.  And even if you do have a choice, should a woman who enjoys her career or has achieved a certain level of success just shut that all down for five years?  It's good for kids to see their mothers happy and thriving, right?  And having more money creates more financial stability for the family and a better future for your child. 

Ultimately though, I believe it's important for kids to be raised as much as possible by their own parents.  I think it makes them better human beings.  I have come to the conclusion that the best way for me to manage work and a baby is to work part-time.  I make less money and have had to offload some of my former responsibilities, but I think this is the best of both worlds.  I'm extremely focused at the office but when I'm home with my son, I'm all his. 

I am very lucky that I own my own company and my husband is the co-founder. A friend of mine with a one year old was able to negotiate with her employer to become a part time contractor working 2-3 days per week instead of a being a full-time employee.  She is even able to work some hours from home, which is really great for her. She is very happy with her arrangement because it has allowed her to keep up with her career and spend valuable time with her daughter until she is old enough to start school.  Some of my other baby mama friends have negotiated for Fridays off so they only work a 4 day week.

I plan to continue working 2-3 days per week at the office and checking in from home the other days.  It's been a huge blessing to be able to be part of both wonderful worlds, even if I haven't exactly figured out how to stay on top of it all.

I'm curious about other moms out there.  What did you do when you had babies?  Did you stay home full time, work part time or go back full time with child care?