"I need some tips on how I could save or raise more money for a wedding. My man and I are already saving up for a downpayment for a condo - and I realize that by the time we have a condo, there will be no money for a wedding. We plan on paying this wedding by ourselves. But we have a couple barriers to saving more money - we both have a lot of student debt, and we can't receive financial help from our families. Any advice? ...What is a typical wedding budget? And has anyone had great deals with wedding services??"

This was a great question posted in our forums recently, and I thought it would be a good idea to share our thoughts here as many of you may be in the same position. Here are a few things I learned from my own wedding...

Choose the cheaper city:
I have friends who got married in T.O and spent $50,000.00 on their wedding. It was beautiful and perfect but not overly extravagant. We got married in Winnipeg for $11,000.00 and I got everything I wanted: my dream dress, an amazing photographer, a beautiful hotel, great food and a church full of candles and flowers. We both had about 150 guests. The main difference between our two weddings was that hers was in Toronto and mine was in Winnipeg. If either of you is from a less expensive city and has enough family there, you may want to consider having it in the cheaper city.

Consider a week day wedding:
It tends to be cheaper to book a Friday night wedding instead of a Saturday. Weekdays are cheaper because they are less in demand. Evening weddings are so romantic in my opinion because you can go nuts with candles and stuff. We got married on a Friday night and I've had cousins get married on Thursdays to save a little money. It is just as nice as a Saturday.

Invitations aren't worth investing in:
There is no good reason to spend thousands of dollars on invitations. Once your wedding is over, everyone is going to throw that invite away so why blow your budget on them? We were qouted $2000 for our invitations from a local card store and I nearly fell over. In the end, we got our invitations made at Essence du Papier here in Toronto for around $300 including custom envelopes and ribbon and they were fabulous and affordable.

Do it yourself invitations are popular and can look quite nice but they are a lot of work - especially if you aren't very skilled with formatting your printer.

Make your own center pieces:
If you get married in an expensive city like Toronto, look for deals on everything. Load up with candles at IKEA. We had vanilla scented candles and a small vase filled with roses on each table and it looked and smelled amazing. Our center pieces were about $20 per table all in.

Buy your flowers in bulk:
Look for flower markets to get good prices on your flowers. Toronto's Avenue Road has a slew of flower markets with amazing prices and I'm sure they sell in bulk. I would still get a professional to make your arrangements, but for center pieces, you can buy bulk roses for about $1 a stem.

Barter for your wedding dress:
Did you know that the price of your dress can be negotiated? You can barter the price down or get them to throw something in for free. I got my taxes included and my veil for free with my dress because I negotiated. Also, shop around a lot. I found my dress in more than 1 store with big differences in price.

Skip the tiara:
Unless you're really set on wearing a crown, consider forgoing this item you will never wear again and wear a flower in your hair. A white orchid pinned behind your ear is stunning and costs considerably less than a $400 hair trinket.

Don't shell out too much for the shoes:
Yes, I know it is all about the shoes, but if you shop for months in advance chances are you can find something on sale. Most bridal shoes don't look good with anything besides your wedding dress and even if they do you probably won't want to wear them again for sentimental reasons, so there is no point in investing hundreds of dollars on these puppies. Just make sure they are comfortable. I was so proud of my cheapie shoes ($30 on sale!!) but they ended up being extremely painful because they weren't leather and didn't give at all. Your dress will be heavy and you will be on your feet all day. Shoes with some give are a must.

Have a limited bar:
If you are having alcohol at your wedding you can limit how long the bar is open and how much is spent. Figure out a budget ahead of time and ensure that the bar knows not to offer up those expensive scotches. Another option is to have no bar and just buy a few bottles of wine for each table - served by the reception staff. If you leave them on the table they will disappear faster than if they are served by the staff. Two bottles of red and two white is generally sufficient.

Transportation is overrated:
No one cares if you arrive in a horse drawn carriage. You will look just as fabulous stepping out of your Uncle's shiny new Beamer for a lot less cash. The majority of your wedding day will not be spent in a vehicle so why invest as though it will be?

If you do choose to rent a limo, always go with a recommendation. Friends of ours had a horrible experience with their limo being double booked and leaving them to take a cab home from their wedding even though they had paid in advance for the night.

Extend the savings to your bridesmaids:
Some couples pay for their attendants' outfits, but every wedding I have been part of, I have paid my own way and my bridesmaids/groomsmen paid for their own outfits. Regardless of who pays, the dresses needn't cost $300. We got gorgeous black dresses from Le Chateau for $55 each. No one believed us that the dresses were from Le Chateau because they looked amazing. My bridesmaids were happy they didn't have to drop a lot of cash.

Things NOT to scrimp on:
photo credit: Patty Boge, Off the Page Photography

* The Photographer.
Our photographer was expensive but worth it. We have gotten many compliments on her work. A bad photographer is a life long regret as you have to look at those photos forever. Budget $2,000ish

* The Food.
Your reception is where you will spend the bulk of your time. Many couples try to save money by having a backyard wedding, gourmet picnic in the park or even a church basement and in the end they really don't save that much money. Things always cost more than you think. Those kinds of weddings typically create a lot of work for family and friends too, which is something to consider.

Leave this to the professionals and plan an intimate reception at a hotel or book out a private restaurant where they can give you a firm budget and take care of everything for you. Make sure you go for a food tasting in advance.

*Your Hair and Makeup
Budget about $150 for hair and makeup all in and go somewhere good. You don't want to end up going home and doing your hair over again because your $25 hairdo looks like crap. Also, unless you are a makeup artist, you may find you are too nervous to properly apply your own makeup on the big day. Get it done professionally and make sure you go for the trial first.

*The Honeymoon
You are really going to need this break together after all of the hullabaloo of the wedding. Trust me. Don't miss out on this excuse to get away and spend some down time together. Chances are, the money you get from your wedding will cover the cost of your honeymoon. Take those 10 days in Europe or that 1 week all inclusive in Bora Bora. You'll never regret your honeymoon, but you will regret not taking one.

To answer the last part of the question...

What to do if you're also saving for a house?
If you're loaded with debt of any kind, it is going to be very difficult to save for a house and your wedding at the same time. We're still renting an apartment and that's not going to change anytime soon. You may decide that it is easier to live a few extra years in an apartment and slowly save up for your own place than try to do everything at once.

Home ownership comes with a lot of hidden costs you may not be able to budget for: the washer/dryer breaks down 2 weeks after you move in, the heater has a crack in it that is leaking C02. You never know what could come and you need to have a reserve budget for these kinds of unexpected expenses.

Then again, maybe that rich uncle will give you enough at your wedding to help out with some of these costs ;)

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