I'm Taking Control Of My Financial Destiny (or at least, not being an idiot with money) (page 2)

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I'm Taking Control Of My Financial Destiny (or at least, not being an idiot with money)

Posted by Nora | Thursday August 11, 2011

23 comments

I was 18 when my mother removed herself as the co-signer on my checking account. It was five days before I left for college and she handed me my checkbook like she was handing me a set of keys to a secret treasure chest.

"Nora, she said, "you are now in control of your financial destiny. Use this wisely."

And yes, she paused that dramatically because that is how she likes to speak during important life moments.

As you can expect, I took those keys to my financial destiny and drove it straight into a pool of parental disappointment. Which is to say, I spent all of my money in the first semester of college.

Like, all of it. Every penny I had saved babysitting on Saturday nights. Every dollar I had earned plucking kids from the deep end of the public pool because their mothers were too busy tanning to make sure their little ones weren't drowning. Every nickel I earned as a hostess at the department-store restaurant where I flirted with the servers in hopes they would bring me buttery pop-overs to snack on behind the hostess stand in between seating little old ladies at giant booths so they could enjoy hot bowls of soup on a steamy July day.

So, the money was gone and my parents were beyond pissed. They were mystified, disgusted and dismayed. Could their straight-A daughter actually be an idiot?

Well, yes, she could indeed. I'll skip over the part about how I wasn't emotionally prepared for college and treated my depression with some therapeutic online shopping and get to the point: ever since that fateful semester TEN YEARS AGO, I've felt bad about my relationship with money. I'm no longer spending 100% of my income on Steve Madden shoes (I can't believe I'm confessing that but we're friends, right?) but it hasn't been an easy road, either. Sure, there were those years in NYC, where I couldn't save a penny if my life depended on it, but also, I just REALLY LIKE SPENDING MY MONEY. And not on big-ticket things, either. I don't have expensive handbags or a fancy car. I haven't been taking lavish vacations or gotten plastic surgery. I've just been eating my money. Literally.

Recently, my bank pointed out that they are tracking my debit card purchases and I could view my spending habits by pie chart. If you want to know how much is too much of your income to spend on food, ask me and I will tell you privately. Like so many times before, I found myself shaking my head at myself and saying, "I gotta get my life together." Out loud. Because that is the only way to let myself know that I am serious.

So where am I going with this? A new self-improvement goal! With new action items for me to obsess over! Like:

(1) Talking to my financially-savvy friend to get an idea of how she manages a budget. Turns out, she doesn't keep a set budget, she just "tries not to act like an idiot." Noted.

(2) Borrowing a Suze Orman book, and reading the front cover and the prologue.

(3) Downloading some apps, which yes, is a form of spending money.

(4) Using the same program that my bank used to scare me straight to set a goal! And a timeline!

Now all I have to do is use these things... and my darn brain.

Are you chicks all financially fit, or do you struggle with spending?

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21 Comments

	on August 30, 2011 GlamGal 2,378 said: I always try to save my money...so I guess I am finically fit. Good luck with your finances, Nora!
	on August 11, 2011 Sandra said: I feel your pain. I can't tell you how many times I've bailed myself out using money I've ear-marked for an investment portfolio and how, to my shame, my parents gave me a lot of money because I've been struggling. It's tough out there. My Mom was telling me about how many people ranging from their 20's to 40's are finding they need financial help. Life's expensive and jobs can be scarce (especially since there are so many contracted positions now- don't get me started on healthcare and I'm lucky to be living in Canada!). No matter how practical you try to be and how careful with your money (I've never paid more than $900/month for rent and have never owned a car) saving will always be an uphill battle. The fact that you've got a plan and are trying puts you head and shoulders so many others I know. Keep working at it! You've survived and learned how to be a responsible adult (I'm assuming you've never been evicted for not paying rent). It's hard to do that if you never live on your own and struggle to pay your bills.
	on August 11, 2011 Nora said: MEESH THAT IS THE BOOK I BORROWED FROM TO! It's on my nightstand. Patiently waiting for me.
	on August 11, 2011 jennie said: I called my brother to let him know I had just visited with my tax accountant and was on my way to setup an IRA and told him that I felt super grown up. he said "maybe not if you are calling to tell me about it." he's younger than me, so maybe he just doesn't understand.
	on August 11, 2011 mamaluv STAFF said: I'm financially fit in that I'm a bit of a cheapskate - on myself. I do tend to go a little overboard buying for my kids or hubby. Our one serious weakness is travel. We tend to vacation quite a bit, though on the cheap (camping, weekends, roadtrips) but it still adds up! We've paid off quite a bit over the last 2 years or so and finally have a nest egg of sorts, but it's still amazing how much money is sucked away just on essentials! That's home ownership for you though: need new lawn mower, reshingle the roof, renovate the bathroom, kids in a zillion extracurricular programs, etc etc etc. Never ends. But I do feel good about the fact that my hubby and I are very much on the same page when it comes to finances.
	on August 11, 2011 The Fashion P.A. 1,255 said: I am awful when it comes to saving. I love spending my hard earned money on me! my boyfriend, and hanging with friends. My fashion and beauty addiction came at a young age and I love owning pieces I covet... I try to budget with a spreadsheet of paycheck subtract bills, groceries, etc as I go through the month. The only problem is 2 years in a row now I'm keeping it up to date but have fallen off. Spending habits don't really change either way, I feel like I'm a candidate for a shopping intervention :S
	on August 11, 2011 Meesh said: Nora! Suze Orman "Women & Money" will change your life. I have a copy if you want to borrow it and not lose it. :) Great article, and I love whenever you tell stories about your mom.
	on August 11, 2011 TashaZ 58 said: I too have a problem with spending money. But in the spirit of back to school reinvention, I'm reinventing my so-called budget. The tips I've collected over the summer is to keep your receipts, and at the end of the week enter all ynour spending money into a spread sheet. And for coffee addicts like me, I've heard getting a reloadable giftcard is an easy way to keep track of that. Load it up at the beginning of every month and once it's gone it's time to start bringing homemade brew.
	on August 11, 2011 AlexJC 50 said: I am the worst with money- I have been yelled at so many times by my parents regarding money. They get so angry with me and especially my credit card usage. I just cannot seem to save and I spend money on disposible, stupid items and for the most part it goes to eating out.
	on August 11, 2011 Daniela said: I think most people our age have issues with saving (more accurately, spending!), and you're right- it IS fun spending money! What I try to remind myself is that rather than spending $20 on a crappy pair of shoes that will only last me a season (maybe!) I'd rather keep that cash, along with the $20 a week I spend on iced coffees, $50 on eating out and $100 I spend on a wild weekend, and buy those gorgeous BCBG's I've been coveting instead. For me, it's all about prioritizing, like TammyK. I've enlisted in a budget bootcamp to help me learn the tools of saving, not just for now, but hopefully to help me in the future as well. Here's the link: MyBudgetBootcamp.wordpress.com I'll let you know how it works out!