Truth: Disneyworld is Awesome, but it turns out that Cortex and Cervix are Not the Same Thing (page 2)

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Truth: Disneyworld is Awesome, but it turns out that Cortex and Cervix are Not the Same Thing

Posted by Nora | Thursday February 23, 2012

16 comments

I’ve been wrong a time or two in my life. Before this past weekend, the most notable of these occasions was during a 6th grade science quiz when I labeled part of the brain as the “cervix” and then argued about it with my teacher. Mrs. Vance, in case you're reading this, I acknowledge that you were actually right. But in my defense, cervix and cortex are really similar words.

My most recent revelation is this: Disneyworld is so Not Lame.

When I was in first or second grade, I got a phone call from Goofy telling me I’d won a trip to Disneyworld. I’d barely had time to start screaming with joy after handing the phone to my mother when she was calling Goofy a jerk and hanging up the phone. Turns out my uncle does a pretty great Goofy impression.

Over the next 20 years, I brainwashed myself into thinking that Disneyworld was not the happiest place on earth, but the lamest. I mean, if my parents never took me it had to be because it was lame, right? WRONG.

The happiest place on earth...even for hipsters

The Haunted Mansion. Hot tip: don't bring a 4-year-old here.

This trip to Disneyworld gave me superhuman strength.

One day at the Magic Kingdom with our niece and nephew and I realized my childhood lack of a Disneyworld vacation was nothing less than total parental neglect. Disneyworld. Is. Awesome. You can meet Cinderella! You can have breakfast with Goofy! You can photobomb groups of European teens! YOU GET A BUTTON ON YOUR FIRST VISIT AND PEOPLE ARE EXTRA NICE TO YOU! It really IS the best vacation ever!

If you don't wear your ears, how will Minnie recognize you, Uncle Aaron?!

Unfortunately, Disneyworld is not the only thing I have been wrong about. I will reluctantly admit that I may possibly have been wrong about a few other things as well. For example:

Yoga isn’t a workout: The first time I did hot yoga, I spent half of the class laying on the floor with my eyes closed, praying for death to take me away from all of the pain. Also, my 62-year-old mother can kick my ass in yoga any day. I mean, not that it’s a contest, but when a woman 30-some years older than you is in a confident headstand while you’re busy falling on your butt, that’s humbling.

Being tan is hot: In high school and college, I was a lifeguard at an outdoor pool, where I spent over 8 hours a day all summer sitting in direct sunlight and occasionally rescuing little nuggets who had accidentally paddled into the deep end. Now, I’m dedicated to keeping this wild Irish rose the perfect shade of pasty white, studying the mirror for any signs that my sun-worshipping past will start to show up on my face. SPF 100+ for life, y’all.

What about my chicks? Have you ever been wrong before? Did your parents love you and take you to Disneyworld? Have you ever eaten breakfast with Minnie Mouse?

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16 Comments

	on February 23, 2012 amyknows 2,352 said: I've been to Walt Disney World once, when I was 12. We ended up getting stuck in a huge hurricane and I remember being terrified for my life. I remember waking up after the storm to trees on cars, and roofs ripped off of buildings. It was terrifying. I would however, LOVE to go back, despite being 22 years old. haha Who wants to come with me? I think I'd probably enjoy it just as much, if not more, now that I'm older. :)
	on February 23, 2012 Kagoory 1,784 said: I haven't been there yet! I'm planning on a trip soon, hopefully! ;)
	on February 23, 2012 Aliza 13,966 said: It is sooo awesome! I went when I turned 20 and it was the greatest trip! They really are extra nice! The rides were great but the experience was amazing. I would totally go back. It's not just for the kids...
	on February 23, 2012 Creamsicle 60 said: Disneyworld and land = AWESOME!! I've been many times, sorry ;) I argued with my mom in grade four that Petite was not a word. She showed it to me in the dictionary, and I insisted the dictionary was wrong! If only my husband would have known before he married me that I'm so stubborn, I'll argue with the dictionary :) Cervix?!? Seriously, you guys didn't know what that is?!? Oh, wait, I guess I didn't know before I had kids, either, lol!
	on February 23, 2012 mamaluv STAFF said: We took our kids to DWorld a few years ago. I went with the expectation of being satisfied at its lameness so that I too would not have to revisit dashed childhood dreams. It was crazy. Like, just mindblowing with the dizzying array of activities and sights to see. And then Prince Charming BOWED TO MY DAUGHTER DURING THE PARADE AND I SCREAMED. Kind of like I'm screaming right now. It was getting late but I wanted to stay for the fireworks show. My daughter was starting to cry that she wanted to go back to the hotel (she was 7 at the time), but I firmly insisted that we were going to get our money's worth out of the day. Confession: my hubby and I had gone to one of those heinous timeshare presentations and scored free tix, so the real reason I wanted to stay was... well, I don't think I have to say it out loud, do I? Public Service Announcement - don't go to those stupid timeshare thingies. Pay full price. I promise it's worth the 3 hours of your life you'll get to spend having fun instead of dying slowly in one of those presentations.
	on February 23, 2012 AlexJC 50 said: I was JUST complaining to my mother the other day about how she never took me neither DisneyWorld nor Land and how disappointed I was in her as a mother. (joking- sort of...) As a child (and as a teen, and...adult) I was obsessed with Disney princesses and I've always wanted to meet one!!! P.S. I also thought cervix meant the brain until like a year or two a go which lead to many a joke about how I was thinking and using my brain etc. Glad to know I'm not alone! :)