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Truth: Disneyworld is Awesome, but it turns out that Cortex and Cervix are Not the Same Thing

Posted by Nora | Thursday February 23, 201216 comments


I’ve been wrong a time or two in my life. Before this past weekend, the most notable of these occasions was during a 6th grade science quiz when I labeled part of the brain as the “cervix” and then argued about it with my teacher. Mrs. Vance, in case you're reading this, I acknowledge that you were actually right. But in my defense, cervix and cortex are really similar words.

My most recent revelation is this: Disneyworld is so Not Lame

When I was in first or second grade, I got a phone call from Goofy telling me I’d won a trip to Disneyworld. I’d barely had time to start screaming with joy after handing the phone to my mother when she was calling Goofy a jerk and hanging up the phone. Turns out my uncle does a pretty great Goofy impression.

Over the next 20 years, I brainwashed myself into thinking that Disneyworld was not the happiest place on earth, but the lamest. I mean, if my parents never took me it had to be because it was lame, right? WRONG.


The happiest place on earth...even for hipsters


The Haunted Mansion. Hot tip: don't bring a 4-year-old here.


This trip to Disneyworld gave me superhuman strength. 
 
One day at the Magic Kingdom with our niece and nephew and I realized my childhood lack of a Disneyworld vacation was nothing less than total parental neglect. Disneyworld. Is. Awesome. You can meet Cinderella! You can have breakfast with Goofy! You can photobomb groups of European teens! YOU GET A BUTTON ON YOUR FIRST VISIT AND PEOPLE ARE EXTRA NICE TO YOU! It really IS the best vacation ever! 


If you don't wear your ears, how will Minnie recognize you, Uncle Aaron?!
 
Unfortunately, Disneyworld is not the only thing I have been wrong about. I will reluctantly admit that I may possibly have been wrong about a few other things as well. For example: 

Yoga isn’t a workout: The first time I did hot yoga, I spent half of the class laying on the floor with my eyes closed, praying for death to take me away from all of the pain. Also, my 62-year-old mother can kick my ass in yoga any day. I mean, not that it’s a contest, but when a woman 30-some years older than you is in a confident headstand while you’re busy falling on your butt, that’s humbling. 

Being tan is hot: In high school and college, I was a lifeguard at an outdoor pool, where I spent over 8 hours a day all summer sitting in direct sunlight and occasionally rescuing little nuggets who had accidentally paddled into the deep end. Now, I’m dedicated to keeping this wild Irish rose the perfect shade of pasty white, studying the mirror for any signs that my sun-worshipping past will start to show up on my face. SPF 100+ for life, y’all.  

What about my chicks? Have you ever been wrong before? Did your parents love you and take you to Disneyworld? Have you ever eaten breakfast with Minnie Mouse? 
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16 Comments

on March 08, 2012  LadyChick234234  3,701 said:

Can't say I have, but think it would be a most excellent adventure!

on February 29, 2012  bdeyell86  2,033 said:


I have never been to disney world but one day would love to take my two children,

on February 29, 2012  assia  1,578 said:

Never been there.....

on February 28, 2012  AngelinaRosaries  2,303 said:

i've never been to Disneyworld myself, mom use to say that if there is food on the table, and we are love, clothed and we are in school, that is good enough.
I never played dolls either, its too expensive for mom.
However, I've signed in every sports possible, because mom want the sibling deal : which says "2nd child 50% off".And besides, during the game, she finally got her quite time, drinking coffee in the sideline. If we ain't in sport, me and brother would wrestle in the living room anyways.
And to think of it, mom never played any organize game. She probably does not understand the rules. She would sit there and yell random stuff like good job when the opponent score to my amusement.
She stares on TV and stays " oh, they are playing with sticks on ice again?"

I played soccer.
I played baseball.
i played football - although my brother tackled me too many times.
i played basketball.
I played volleyball. me and my brother would swim until the pool closes.
even got a black belt in karate - just to keep me and brothers score even.

When I was a kid, until I was a teen-ager, whatever mom did was wrong. Waking up so darn early on a Saturday for football was never my idea of a weekend. Mom would drag herself in her pajama to take me and my brother.

Now that I am a mother, I know mom was right.Go out and play, and you feel better about yourself, and you develop a good habit of being active. She may not have been upfront that we cannot afford Disney, but putting us to sports was great. She may not know sports, but she did a great job raising us.

Fast forward now, I am a mom of 3. My daughter karlina, in between two brothers left her doll gifts unopened. She may bring it to the store one day to get a refund. She is contented playing blocks and cars with the brothers.

Thanks for writing about Disney. My husband went to Disney with his family, and he said it was great. And I really don't know if he is right. Now I am confident that our kids deserve Disney.

We plan to save each year, so we can take our 3 kids to Disney hopefully before my youngest turn 16. LOL





on February 28, 2012  Patricia  6,845 said:

We were never taken to any place like Disneyland when we were kids. But we went to Ireland every other year to visit family. We had amazing adventures in Ireland. I wouldn't trade those trips for anything!

on February 27, 2012  LisaDrew  2,288 said:

I have never been to DisneyWorld myself, but it is a dream of mine to take my children there. I hope I can afford the trip one day!

on February 24, 2012  beachbabe  4,164 said:

Oh, Nora. You are SO SO SO right about Disney World. I dreamed my whole life about going - ever since the commercial for it at the beginning of my Pocahontas VHS. My parents never took us. Neglect, I know. I FINALLY went for the first time with a group of friends when I was 18 but I was totally a 5 year old at heart - like everyone who steps foot on Main Street USA. So magical and wonderful! We had a character lunch with the princesses and I almost died. Now I'm just waiting for the funds so I can take my husband there. I'd live in Disney if it was allowed. So glad you had a great time!

p.s. Your uncle is evil. I'd be scarred too.

on February 24, 2012  mamaluv  STAFF said:

@Becky - if you go in the off season (not totally sure when that is, but to be safe let's say outside of the May-October window), you can get amazing deals on hotels. We went last time in March and I think we paid $35 for our room! It was just a simple Best Western or whatever, but it was clean and had a decent pool. Of course there is no limit going upwards.

To find a great deal on a more upscale hotel, I would suggest you try Hotwire.com or the "mystery price" features on Expedia, Travelocity, and Hotels.com. They all offer the same service as Hotwire now, which is basically this: you tell them which neck of the woods, how many stars, what kinds of amenities (pool, laundry, workout room, in-house restaurant, whatever) and they suggest a number of hotels that fit the criteria. However, you don't find out which hotel you're getting until after you pay!

I have booked 3 or 4 times using these kinds of mystery deals and have never been disappointed in the result. However, I did later learn in at least one of those instances that the hotel's online rate was the exact same price as what I paid. I think in the other cases it was also only a difference of $10-20, but hey - every little bit counts :)

As far as deals on park passes, in my experience there really is no good way to get a discount other than going to those timeshare presentations. I promise you that every site or office or billboard that promises you "cheap park tickets" is a timeshare affiliated thing, so go into that with your eyes open. Do know though that you are only obligated to stick around for 90 minutes, after which they have to let you leave and give you your incentive. They will not make it easy, use every trick in the book to make you stay ("stay for a free lunch!", "talk to my manager", "have to clear your tickets with the front office", etc). During these pauses they will continue their pitch.

Non-salesy deals on park passes basically amount to you buying a holiday package through your hotel or a multi day pass. If you just want to go for one day, pay at the gate.

on February 24, 2012  Becky  13,128 said:

I'm a little consoled that I'm not alone in my sadly lacking childhood! ;-) I guess to my parents defense, we didn't grow up here. We grew up in the UK and we went to lots of theme parks over there.... But this is DISNEY and I really want to go!! Do you girls know of any good sites with deals (including hotel)?

on February 24, 2012  takoda  28,648 said:

We never made it to Disney World either, come to think of it we never really went any where. I guess we weren't loved as much as they love keeping their money in their pockets. I feel so deprived. LOL :(

Great story as always Nora, by the way you guy's are looking good!

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