This is exactly how I look with my cast on, only more glamorous.

The surgery is over and I am still alive.  I'm also high.  The drugs they used to put me under are pretty intense.  When I walked into the room to have my surgery I was literally trembling with fear.  And I cried.  And considered throwing up.  All I remember is the good doctor saying, "Let's get some anti-anxiety meds going" and the next moment I was waking up from a 4 hour surgery.  The room was spinning, my mouth was uncomfortably dry and I was telling everyone I met how very kind they were.  I vaguely remember calling across the room to some guy in scrubs, I have no idea who he was. I said, "You are such a kiiiind Doctor!  Such a very kaaaaand gentleman."  So me + narcotics = old southern grandma.

The Doctor says the procedure went better than expected.  That it was good I had the surgery since part of the bridge of my nose was starting to collapse and it was also obstructing part of my breathing, which he was able to fix.  Thanks to that and him fixing my overly dissected tip, I'm missing a good chunk of my ear cartilage.   So I'm walking around these days with a baseball hat, a big white cast on my nose, and a giant ball of stuffing stitched to the inside of my ear.  It's not quite Halloween yet I'm startling everyone I meet just a little.

Next week all of the stitches will come out and I will start to see my surgeon's handiwork.  I'm nervous to see the outcome, especially since this is it no matter what, there will be no more surgeries.  Regardless of what it looks like now I will never do this again.  The recovery is more painful than I remembered, especially with the ear graft.  It really is awful.  If you have ever wondered what this feels like, here goes.  A weight is sitting on your nose and every now and then a tiny porcupine slaps you between your nostrils with its spiky little tail.  Your throat feels like you are recovering from strep because you've been intubated and your ear - if you were lucky enough to need a graft - feels like it's been jammed with a baseball that has been permanently sewn in.  Due to the freezing when I smile, I look like a badger baring its teeth.  Add some woozy drugs, no proper shower, mouth breathing for 7 days and I gotta tell you, I look hot!

I think I've had a good experience with the doctor I chose this time around, but only time will tell if the gamble was worth it.  I searched all over North America to find my Doctor, and after meeting with him a few times, I interviewed some of his patients and asked a lot of questions of his staff.  I decided on Doctor David W. Kim in San Francisco and right now he is holding all of my betting chips.  If this doesn't work out it won't be from lack of research.  Please God let next week prove this was all worth it!