I love you

… um… Hello?

You’re on a romantic date with a guy you’ve been seeing for… let’s say, three months. The sky is filled with stars, he’s wearing your favourite shirt on him and you’re absolutely, positively sure that he’s The One – your soul mate. So after he leans in for a goodnight kiss, you say the three words you’ve wanted to say since the third date: I love you. Only… he doesn’t respond. Or, he responds with an excuse about needing to get up early for work in the morning (and it’s Saturday night). Or he runs to his car and the tires squeal as he pulls out of your driveway, never to be seen again. These worst-case scenarios are the reason that so many of us experience pure, unadulterated angst when considering telling our S.O. that we more than like him. (Which is why I always wait for the guy to say it first – but this is about you, not me).

So the burning question on everyone’s mind is: How do you know when it’s the right time to say “I love you”? Well, for starters, it’s not the first date. And probably not the second, third or fourth one, either. You’ll have already established that you really, really like each other – a lot. And you know it’s not just infatuation or lust because you both share common goals and interests. And you see a future together. Be prepared that he might not say “I love you” back and be OK with that. On the other hand, if it’s been a year and he doesn’t say it back, you might want to re-assess your relationship.

A lot of people talk about “going with your gut” and “instinct” but the bottom line is this: If you’ve been dating a few months and you’re sure what you feel is real love, I don’t see any reason for not saying it when you sense the moment is right. And if he goes tearing out of the restaurant never to be found on FaceBook again, you’re better off without him.

by Lisa Summers