I totally agree- I can't stand when people don't tackle an issue, problem or project with the same level of determination that I do. At the same time, I think that if you strive for perfection in every single little thing you do, you end up making yourself go crazy.

I think in the end you need to realise that not everybody is the same but those are the people who won't get anywhere because of a bad attitude and at the same time, sometimes, it is ok to let one or two things slide... because you will make yourself sick with worrying if you don't!

I don't think it's a matter of lowering your standards Nora, but holding others hostage to your expectations is unfair. Not everyone has been brought up like you. You've been conditioned by your upbringing to behave this way, so now, if others don't perform like you expect them to, you are disappointed, just like your father was with you when you were a child. I agree that communication is key in any relationship be it in personal friendships, family, or business. Letting others know what we expect of them ahead of time is crucial. I also think that we must let others be themselves and do things the way they would do them and not try to nitpick. As long as they get it done, it's all that matters.

Agree with Ali's apathy comment, Tammy's communication/expectations comment, and in general everything you said in this post.

Also, I accept the editor's position and will send you a royalties invoice shortly ;)

But seriously now, I think that expectations can be unfair and/or not applicable. There are non-negotiables and then there are the things "not worth fighting over". I have had to compromise a lot in my life, but looking back I think I can safely say that it was all worth it. When I think back to my grandparents fleeing Europe during WW2 and losing parents, siblings, and loves, it makes me realize that some expectations in life really don't matter in The Big Picture.

I don't think there's anything necessarily wrong with having a "type" or having a list of what you look for in a love interest. I just think that list needs to be secondary to gut instinct and rational thought.

Amen sister friend! You know how I feel about this...and PLEASE publish the Nora McInererny Handbook to Life. I will wallpaper a room with it and buy at least a dozen copies.

Ali you will be the first to read it because you, Claire and Siofan will be the editors...DUH!

Great article! I really like that part where you point out that people can only live up to expectations that they know exist. I find a lot of females including myself to kind of expect things to happen and expect our husband, boyfriend, whoever, to keep trying and to just do what we expect when they have no clue. Communication is really important in any relationship.

I couldn't agree more. I have high standards too. One of my biggest pet peeves is apathy. People who don't try, don't care whose life motto seems to be "whatever". They call it laid back, but I think it's lazy.

On another note, Nora please let me know when you publish the Nora McInerny Handbook to Life. I am certain this would be a best seller and I'd like an advance copy for review.