The Manners Police: Airplane Edition (and other Etiquette No-Nos I Detest) (page 2)

We would like to send you notifications on the latest Product Review Club offers.

ALLOW

NOT NOW

3 Kid-Friendly DIY Valentine's Day...

DIY Valentine's Day Gift Ideas

The Manners Police: Airplane Edition (and other Etiquette No-Nos I Detest)

Posted by Nora | Thursday February 2, 2012

21 comments

...or, Your Good Manners Will Make Me Automatically Like You (or at least, tolerate being around you)

In every way, the guy I married is a shining example of patience. And in every way, I am exactly the opposite. Things that barely make him blink make me curmudgeonly and cranky and out of sorts like a tall, blond Andy Rooney.

And one of those things that really gets my 'Rooney' going is bad manners. As a 29-year-old woman who still picks her nose in public I’m really not qualified to consider myself an expert on perfect manners, but I do know bad ones when I see them. For example:

#1 - Asking a woman if she’s pregnant
Ever. If she was, and you were supposed to know, she’d tell you. And for the record, I’m not pregnant; I just wear a lot of oddly-shaped clothing.

#2 - Sneezing into your bare hands in a public space
...and then touching everything around you. I’m looking at you, DMV lady. Even my 3 year-old nephew knows the power of the Dracula cough.

#3 - Describing a woman’s outfit as “interesting.”
If you don’t have something specifically nice to say, at least say it behind my back.

#5 - Listening to loud music in a confined space
Nobody in this elevator wants to listen to your iPod. Nobody.

This weekend, my patience and our marriage were put to the test when we took a 36-hour trip to Atlanta to celebrate the official-official-official adoption of our ovary-wrenching nephew (seriously, look at that face).

A long time ago I read an article (okay, probably just a Facebook post) that said something about judging a person’s character by how they behave when they are around children, the elderly, and in an airport. Clearly Aaron has never read that saying because two trips to the airport later, we are somehow still married.

While Aaron was nonplussed by every part of the trip, I was busy adding to my ever-growing list of Common Etiquette Tips for Being A Decent Human Being (Airplane Edition):

#1 - Don’t get drunk and start finger-conducting to Nickelback in your seat.
Nobody thinks you look awesome doing it. Everyone is mad that you are touching them with your emphatic rendition of “Photograph”.

#2 - Control your voice
If you’re using a hands-free device to talk on your phone, you are always yelling. Always. Also, what are you doing with your hands that makes them unavailable to hold your phone?

#3 - Slow your roll
Why are you jumping out of your seat to cut off the person in the row across from you? So you can get off the plane a whole two seconds before her?

#4 - Don’t eat olives
Or tuna sandwiches or giant burritos. Where do you even buy such a smelly traveI food?

#5 - Keep your personal grooming personal
Newsflash: first class is no place to be plucking your eyebrows and painting your nails.

#6 - Don’t be so short, Airplane Door
Okay, it was entirely my fault that I smashed my forehead into you.

What bad manners drive you nuts? And if you say “Nora picking her nose in public”, I already know that one. I’m working on it.

More by Nora
More on Travel, Relax

Pin It

3 Kid-Friendly DIY Valentine's Day...

DIY Valentine's Day Gift Ideas

21 Comments

	on February 03, 2012 Nora said: Ali, how did YOU hit your head on the plane door? Was it a baby plane?
	on February 02, 2012 Ali de Bold STAFF said: This is really funny! I agree with your whole list. And I have also recently smashed my head exiting a plane. I'm not tall, it was just a low exit. I literally saw stars. Then I laughed about it all the way to baggage. I felt like such a loser.
	on February 02, 2012 Kagoory 1,784 said: Oh man this is hilarious and true!
	on February 02, 2012 MizzRobin 13,788 said: oh HA! Takoda! I completely AGREE with the smashing their buggy into the back of the ankles. I just got back from a trip to Trinidad and when we were lined up to go through customs in Miami, this couple keps smashing the back of my ankles with their buggy, even AFTER I gave them a couple glares. My friend blocked me with her rolling suitcase just as I was about to lose it on the people behind us. Good save on her part!
	on February 02, 2012 mercurysmile 5,904 said: Totally agree with you on #5 - Keep your personal grooming personal for the airplane. Argh it bothers me so much when I see "airplane" tutorials on youtube! Annoyed me so much when the chick beside me takes off her makeup and spends the rest of the flight spritzing her face or putting on a sheet mask. My skin gets dry on the plane too, I don't wear makeup when I get on a flight (maybe shorter ones but anything 3 hours probably not) and just apply some moisturizer when I need it.
	on February 02, 2012 LadyFlash 8,899 said: Oh my goodness he is sooo adorable! I agree with soooo many of these. But my one major pet peeve is people coughing and horking right into the air near you without covering their mouth. Yes please get me and everyone else sick too... Drives me iiiiiiiiiiinsane. lol
	on February 02, 2012 AlexJC 50 said: I get crazy cranky in busy malls. I used to work in a large retail chain in college and sometimes I would just completely lose it and snap at customers. (thankfully my managers were never around) Once I got super angry at a customer who didn't want to pay 5 cents for a plastic bag, it wasn't my proudest moment but sometimes it just gets to you and you NEED to say something.
	on February 02, 2012 mamaluv STAFF said: Yes, he is ovary-wrenching indeed! One of my pet peeves is people chewing gum rapidly and with their mouth open. It's like a frikkin' cow - go chew your cud somewhere else!!
	on February 02, 2012 beautyinfinitum 2,742 said: I agree with you on all of these! And OMG, what an adorable kid! I hate when people leave their carts in the middle of aisles or decide to block an aisle by chatting with a friend/group of people. Also when people chew loudly. Aggghhhh.
	on February 02, 2012 shuey 2,784 said: Lmao Donna! I'll come and bail you out. I can totaly relate to the "Asking a woman if she’s pregnant".....I only did that once....baahaa Didn't turn out to good at all.