Revenge of the Kickball Nerds and the Sweet, Sweet Taste of Victory
On Monday evenings, I play in a recreational adult kickball league. For some reason, our team is in a competitive bracket. Yes, a competitive bracket of adults who play kickball.
This means that on a weekly basis, we get our asses kicked by groups of (mainly) guys who were probably picked last in gym class growing up. Whatever they wanted to prove in 5th grade, they’re proving after work on the kickball field by treating each game like a professional sporting event.
For me, kickball has proven that any athleticism I possessed in my younger years has faded away like my formerly-natural blonde hair. Now, I’m that kid who should have gotten picked last in gym class. Case in point: five minute into the first game, I broke my finger and blamed it on my boyfriend, not knowing that it is entirely within the rules of the game for a teammate to expect that you will catch a ball that is thrown to you.
Since May, our team has consistently lost in points but won in fun. Which is something that losers say and is actually possible and true...until you win for real. Like, in points. On the scoreboard. Which in this case is really just a piece of paper.
When we did finally win two weeks ago, we won hard. We won by the 10-run rule, which states that once you’re beating a team by 10 runs the game is over and is usually implemented in grade school leagues to help preserve the delicate self esteem of each child participating. If you’re not familiar with this rule it’s because you haven’t destroyed or been destroyed by a team in your adult years.
I was so excited by this win that I wrote an e-mail to my team at work immediately after the ref called the game, and the sweet taste of victory carried me through my entire week.
And then we lost again, so I’ve needed to find other ways to feel like a winner. Like:
- Perfectly folded laundry, organized by color
- A zero-inbox (this might be the best one, and the saddest)
- A voicemail from my friend’s 5-year-old son, telling me that he misses me. SWOON!
- Getting two punches on my frequent buyer card at the coffee shop in the morning
- A bright-white summer dress with bright-red lipstick
- Successfully teaching my nephew to call me “beautiful, beautiful Auntie Nora” whenever he addresses me
- Getting through a heated yoga class without puking
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7 Comments
 | OMG ... NOT puking after going to a hot yoga class? ... I'm nervous now lol, I am going to my first one next week!! |
 | @Nora: Brilliant. I try to do that, but a month after leaving my change in there, I go scrounging around my jackets looking for it. |
 | @jskim - That's so true haha I probably look like a loser when I go back to say ah HA I was right 3 months ago. They'll just be like umm what's wrong with you?!? Still it gives me such a thrill when I get into debates and stuff. |
 | Finding money is a good one! Sometimes I put money in my winter coats in the spring just so I can find it again the next winter. Sad? |
| @Tammy when you win arguments? hahaha! I feel like with arguments, either I feel guilty or aggravated. I hate it the most when I lose the argument, but I Find out later that I was right all along. You can't bring it up again, because that'll mean you're unforgiving or whatnot! boo! |
| I feel like a winner whenever I do well on an assignment, when I do something well, and when I win arguments. I can't help it, but I think in general, I'm a competitive person so it gives me great pride when I win an argument. I don't pout like a sore loser when I lose though. I just go and do research so I know my facts for next time if the same argument ever comes up with someone else. |
| PUhahahaha! This article just give me the warm fuzzies. In my experience, I feel most like a winner when I find money on the ground. I found five pennies at once, this one time! I may have looked like a huge cheapskate, crouching on the middle of the street and picking them up but hey, I got 5 cents for free! |
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