For anyone who has followed my posts here on ChickAdvisor over the years, you know I have had the unique opportunity to live in many places (which sounds a lot better than saying I'm geographically challenged even though that's probably closer to the truth).

I've lived in the Canadian prairies, the Canadian west coast, western Germany, southern Germany, back to the Canadian prairies, back to Germany (city hopping), back yet again to the prairies, and currently southeastern USA. Being on staff at ChickAdvisor also requires regular trips to Toronto for events, staff meetings, and other shenanigans we get into at HQ.

Culture shock?  Puh-leaze.  I've been there, bought the t-shirts.  (Seriously.  They make great sleepwear.)

I could write a book on Things That Only Happen in [insert region here], but today's chapter is devoted to my current stomping grounds. Whether traveling to Disneyworld, haunted Savannah, Kitty Hawk, or a just quick trip to my kids' elementary school, I have encountered several things that I'm convinced would never occur anywhere outside of The South. 

For example:

#1 - A restaurant named Squat 'n Gobble

We saw a billboard for this restaurant on a South Carolina interstate and I couldn't believe my eyes. Classy Torontians may want to look away immediately whilst the rest of you keep reading with deepening interest.


Of course I had to know more.  First, I found out that it enjoys a 90% recommendation rate on TripAdvisor.  Then I found out that erstwhile Republican presidential hopeful Rick Perry had made a campaign stop at this very restaurant and supposedly made a very funny gaffe, which unfortunately turned out to not be true (#sadface).  And then I visited their Facebook page which features a risque photo I can't show here on ChickAdvisor for decency reasons (cue e-stampede). 

Naturally I promptly decided I will have to visit this fine fine establishment in the very near future.  I'll probably bring Nora with me.  Rumour has it girlfriend has a sweet spot for gritty eats.

#2 - Actual Denim Overalls Worn In Public.  On Purpose.

Imagine you're at your kid's soccer game minding your own business (if minding your own business may be defined as cheering loudly to your child's chagrin), when out of the corner of your eye you see a gent strolling by sporting a plaid shirt under form-fitting denim overalls.  This dapper dude is also kitted out with a bushy beard, Bass Pro Shops cap, and the most perfectly proportioned beer belly I have ever seen. 

Did I mention the overalls were form-fitting?  I did?  The visual must have disoriented me there for a sec.  You can thank me later for not taking a picture to share with y'all. 

#3 - A restaurant named Horney's Roadhouse

So big deal, you say!  Little did you know this steakhouse is spitting distance from a porn store.  As conservative as this area is, I found this wildly amusing as it may be the double entendre was accidental (Horney's was decidedly ramshackle while the pornmart was new construction).

And even if it was intentional, this locale was right up near the Mason-Dixon line.  Far far away from decent southern folk and much closer to those Yanks who get up into all kinds of trouble as you know.  Sadly, I was too busy covering my children's eyes from the flashy porn outlet to take a picture of Horney's.

#4 - Realty Reality Check

These days it's Vintage this and Vintage that.  But before you go applying this fancy label to anything and everything, please label responsibly.  This made me equally turned off and intensely curious when I drove past the sign yesterday:

*personal information protected

You have to give this person props, because as you know: "When life gives you foreclosures, make lemonade".  At least I'm pretty sure that's how the saying goes.

#5 - An Answer to the World's Oldest Question

No, it's not "What is Life?"  While I'm sure the circumstance I'm about to relate would not necessarily happen solely in the US southeast, it is the only place I have ever witnessed this profound occurrence.

I was driving down a country road a few miles from my house recently when I was forced to slow down because there was a chicken crossing the road.  I have of course heard of this phenomenon but always chalked it up to urban legend.

Why, I asked myself, did the chicken cross the road?  I was deeply curious, as I'm sure you are too.

Moments later, a large dog came bounding across the road in hot pursuit and I had my answer. Did you see that one coming?  I sure didn't.

#6 - Low Fat Cuisine = Just Eat Less

My parents and siblings have always been very health conscious.  They visited us on several occasions, and we like to show off the local cuisine.  My husband's pals all suggest local greasy spoons and authentic southern barbeque locales (by they way, they are one and the same), but we often treat them to Lucky32, a family-friendly yet slightly more upscale restaurant with authentic Southern eats.

My sister took one glance at the menu and promptly asked the waiter if there was anything a little lower in fat, whereupon he weakly suggested she order off the kiddie menu.

(clockwise from top left) Hush Puppies (via lasvegasfoodadventures), Fried Okra (via simpledailyrecipes), Brunswick Stew (via cookinglight), Fried Green Tomatoes (via closetcooking)

In other words, all Southern cuisine is fattening and deep fried and gorgeously delicious because of it. If you have the occasion to visit, I suggest you fill your tank with salad before you go out because those hushpuppies, fried green tomatoes, fried okra, deep grits, and cornbread will obliterate your diet.  Yet I would be remiss if I did not also direct you to Pot Liquor, Fish Muddle, or Brunswick Stew - three other regional delicacies that are more waistline-friendly.  And in fairness, green tomatoes and okra are a fruit and veggie (respectively).

Have I convinced you yet that southeastern USA is the hottest travel destination you've never heard of? Here are a few more pictures from our adventures...

Ziplining and rock climbing in the Appalachian foothills (NC)

Waterfalls and caves (NC)

Myrtle Beach (SC) and Coke World (Atlanta, GA)

Disneyworld (FL)

Getting run off by pelicans in the Florida Keys (had to work off that Key Lime pie anyway)

...and wearing an Easter bucket on our heads, because dudes, that's how we roll.

*title images via learnnc.org, southernliving.com, closetcooking.com